Jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I spent alot of time trying to get all of my eldest relatives together in one room with no luck............. Then BINGO
←Rate | 05-25-2018 22:23 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where do babies like to go for lunch....... Hooters
←Rate | 05-25-2018 20:34 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's been 10 years since I was in school. But every day the school bully still takes my lunch money........ He works at Mc. Donalds.
←Rate | 05-25-2018 15:43 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Mr. Spock (star.trek) came back in time to do a mind meld with trump, would Mr.Spock be sucsesfull.
←Rate | 05-25-2018 05:38 by Jake Comments (5)  


   messageicon What type of car does an electrician drive........ A Volts-wagon.
←Rate | 05-25-2018 04:21 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon . When Chewbacca needs to go does he use a toilet, or dose Han Solo take him for a walk?
←Rate | 05-25-2018 02:42 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Starcents, it's like Starbucks only cheaper.
←Rate | 05-24-2018 03:24 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Cruelty is people with back pain having to bend over at the pharmacy to get a tube of Bengay from the bottom shelf.
←Rate | 05-22-2018 15:33 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is a person who goes off their diet called? A deserter
←Rate | 05-19-2018 15:05 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon If woman are so good at multitasking. Then why can't they sit down and shut up?
←Rate | 05-19-2018 15:00 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fitness nuts have to do an entire marathon to feel a runner's high..... I just have to bend over and tie my shoes.
←Rate | 05-19-2018 14:56 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find it annoying when old people poke me at wedding and say "you'll be next." So I started to do the same thing to them at funerals.
←Rate | 05-17-2018 16:43 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman arrested for prostitution. Judge: How do you plead? Woman: Not guilty. I'm a sales woman. Judge: What do you sell ? Woman: Condoms with a free demontration.
←Rate | 05-16-2018 18:23 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finally found my wife's G spot....... Her sister had it all along.
←Rate | 05-14-2018 14:39 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Confuciushe says: Man who fight with wife all day, gets no piece at night.
←Rate | 05-14-2018 14:34 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon God gave us shins so we could find things in the dark.
←Rate | 05-12-2018 16:53 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I broke because of my gambling...... I hit the lottery and left her.
←Rate | 05-12-2018 16:51 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Wife: Thinking about having my boobs enlarged. Husband: Just rub them with some toilet paper. Wife: will that work? Husband: It did for your butt.
←Rate | 05-12-2018 02:12 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gave my boss a mother's day card. Because "he" is one of the top ten mothers on my list.
←Rate | 05-12-2018 00:34 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know a restaurant must be serving bad food when you see a mouse throwing up in the restroom.
←Rate | 05-11-2018 18:21 by Jake Comments (0)  

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