Dude Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's sad when your chances of winning the lottery are BETTER than getting a decent raise at work.
←Rate | 10-14-2015 10:06 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never get attached to your coworkers. You might have to throw them at a deranged gunman someday
←Rate | 10-02-2015 12:24 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all the craziness going on in the world, I can just say; stay strapped, my friends.
←Rate | 07-24-2015 10:47 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someday, I'll be as rich as the Clinton's were when they said they were broke.
←Rate | 07-15-2015 11:06 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon If being gay was so wrong, then why didn't it make it onto God's top 10 list?
←Rate | 07-06-2015 11:14 by Dude Comments (2)  


   messageicon Gay Divorce Court is going to be hilarious.
←Rate | 06-28-2015 12:57 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon If gay couple want to get married and be just as miserable as straight couples, let'em.
←Rate | 06-26-2015 23:20 by Dude Comments (1)  


   messageicon New Jersey residents are being advised to NOT eat the fish washed up in the sewer. Which is ironic considering the sewer is the cleanest part of New Jersey.
←Rate | 06-02-2015 11:18 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Childhood I'd idolizing Batman. Adulthood is realizing The Joker made more sense.
←Rate | 05-30-2015 10:32 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do what's right to do, not what you're told to do.
←Rate | 05-30-2015 07:55 by Dude Comments (1)  


   messageicon With all the social injustice and government misconduct all over the world at a fever pitch, lets go ahead and focus on deflated footballs and soccer corruption instead.
←Rate | 05-27-2015 11:41 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: Who's your favorite Kardashian? Me: Uummm...Gul Dukat.
←Rate | 05-24-2015 04:33 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
←Rate | 05-23-2015 11:06 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yea, the Duggars. You spit out that many kids, 1 or 2 are bound to be defective.
←Rate | 05-23-2015 01:55 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mexico is like America's basement; yea, it's a little dirtier, but it's a lot more fun.
←Rate | 05-20-2015 10:30 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided to become a Veterinarian and a taxidermist so no matter what, you'll get your dog back.
←Rate | 05-08-2015 23:31 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s an employee’s job to respect management but it's managements job to give them something to respect.
←Rate | 05-07-2015 04:46 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon How you get almond milk? Almonds ain't got no nipples!
←Rate | 05-06-2015 10:21 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mayweather landed more punches on his wife than he did on Manny.
←Rate | 05-03-2015 02:23 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mayweather hugged on Manny more during that fight then my dad did the whole time I was growing up.
←Rate | 05-03-2015 01:16 by Dude Comments (0)  


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