Danmanz Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Ladies are forever saying "all men are dogs", but what they fail to realize is that dogs are loyal as fu¢k if you treat them right.
←Rate | 03-22-2015 23:43 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I look at my milk carton in the fridge and it read "Feb 14". Even my milk has a Valentine's date and I don't.
←Rate | 02-13-2015 20:38 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon You never see a church with free WiFi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works..
←Rate | 07-12-2014 23:00 by Danmanz Comments (2)  


   messageicon Real women don't label themselves as 'Dimes', 'Barbies', or 'Bad Bitćhes' because real men don't carry loose change, play with toy dolls, or wife dogs.
←Rate | 03-23-2014 14:44 by Danmanz Comments (1)  


   messageicon Be careful of those who pat you on the back. They might be looking for a soft spot to plant the knife.
←Rate | 02-27-2014 19:01 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet you'll never see a fight break out in marijuana clubs.........
←Rate | 02-26-2014 23:15 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spilled ice out of my cup while I was outside and all of a sudden, my state has shutdown.
←Rate | 01-29-2014 00:56 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon For once in my life, I like to push a cart in Walmart, let it go and roll for at least two feet straight WITHOUT fu¢king turning left on its own.
←Rate | 01-18-2014 01:49 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't tell me what they said about me, tell me why they're comfortable telling you.
←Rate | 01-08-2014 09:31 by Danmanz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ants kill around 30 people a year......Marijuana is safer than ants.
←Rate | 12-16-2013 12:46 by Danmanz Comments (0)  



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