BigSarge Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Re: "there are only 380 million Americans" .....yes there are.... And we still RULE THE WORLD!!!
←Rate | 06-28-2015 12:52 by BigSarge Comments (1)  


   messageicon " Fcuk the Police" ............ Please encourage this!! With the shift work we do protecting your sorry ass it's sometimes hard to meet women. So please encourage your sister and mother to continue your cause!!
←Rate | 12-03-2014 19:53 by BigSarge Comments (1)  


   messageicon DAMN!! Obamaphones sure are getting one serious workout these last two nights in Ferguson!!
←Rate | 11-25-2014 18:36 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids: Never tell a stranger where you live. Give them your neighbor's address and watch what happens.
←Rate | 11-25-2014 18:35 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what my dogs named me?
←Rate | 11-18-2014 18:26 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spice up your sex life by throwing up some jazz hands when you're blowing him.
←Rate | 08-03-2014 14:17 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have decided my next ex-wife will be Scottish so when she calls me a worthless fucker it will be in that adorable wee accent.
←Rate | 08-03-2014 14:03 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Vladimir Putin moves two Boy Scout Troops to the Russian/Polish boarder. France surrendered
←Rate | 03-25-2014 22:13 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe Obama should have pitched Obamacare on Shark Tank?
←Rate | 03-20-2014 22:15 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men, if you had your choice between brains or b0obs, which cup size do you prefer?
←Rate | 03-04-2014 21:35 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon My cat just jumped down from on top of the counter onto my laptop on the desk, opening David Bowie "Heroes" on iTunes. And now he's the coolest person I know.
←Rate | 01-16-2014 02:55 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now why would I possibly want to "Follow" your Spanish only speaking Twitter account? Oh look at that, Ginormous huge ti tty selfies? *Now FOLLOWING Tetas Gigantescas
←Rate | 01-16-2014 02:46 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend is REALLY pi$sed!! He had a vasectomy last year and found out the hard way it doesn't always work..... And apparently it can make your baby black.
←Rate | 01-05-2014 02:58 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look UPS chick, you can't just show up at someone's house unannounced and expect them to always have their pants on, and not to be covered in Baby Oil!!
←Rate | 01-02-2014 23:27 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Horseradish sauce is my favorite condiment named after mustang spooge.
←Rate | 12-28-2013 16:02 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got banned from bookstore AGAIN this weekend for moving "CAUTION: WET FLOOR" sign to the erotic aisle.
←Rate | 12-22-2013 10:58 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, at the end, I press the "Add 30 Sec" button on the microwave just to show "Swanson's" who's REALLY in charge up in this MoFo!!
←Rate | 12-06-2013 22:27 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon Single mothers must make the toughest decisions every day...... Decisions like "Which of my children's toys is giving up its batteries for mommy's toy?"
←Rate | 11-29-2013 01:53 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I haven't spent a dime feeding my pet python since I found the "Free Kitten" section on "Craigslist".
←Rate | 11-27-2013 01:57 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ran to the liquor store minutes before it closed!! **crosses "Run Marathon" off of my bucket list**
←Rate | 11-25-2013 21:15 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


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