Baddie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You have to wait 30 days to buy a gun but Amazon Prime only takes 2 days to ship live bees, no questions asked.
←Rate | 05-22-2017 02:30 by Baddie Comments (3)  


   messageicon Live such that when the mortician prepares you for your funeral, he must struggle to get that grin off your face.
←Rate | 05-08-2017 22:51 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon A stranger at Walmart just coughed in my face, so I've probably only got two, maybe three, days to live.
←Rate | 03-28-2017 12:23 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon almost annoyed by the fact that Pablo Escobar spent most of his life tucking in his shirt but he’s only remembered for selling drugs.
←Rate | 03-26-2017 13:19 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The microwave sent those nudes, not me.
←Rate | 03-14-2017 15:05 by Baddie Comments (1)  


   messageicon Given the exploding population of idiots in our communities, I think it’s about time we required people to pass a test first before they are allowed to vote. We can’t afford to put our destiny in the hands of clueless idiots.
←Rate | 03-12-2017 00:19 by Baddie Comments (2)  


   messageicon Christmas; Another day of choreographed kindness and fake concern.
←Rate | 12-25-2016 03:29 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like this mannequin challenge. It gets idiots to shut the hell up for a minute.
←Rate | 11-18-2016 22:42 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much of your pants are you allowed to fold up before you're mistaken for a fisherman?
←Rate | 11-14-2016 00:38 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of voter fraud, why don't they just call it Electile Dysfunction?
←Rate | 11-08-2016 14:15 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Heard those ruthless and heartless thieves forced Kim K to put her clothes on first before robbing her.
←Rate | 10-03-2016 14:54 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope tonight's the night when we'll finally see a presidential candidate make the jerk-off motion while the other candidate is speaking.
←Rate | 09-26-2016 14:39 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's horrifying to think that Brock Turner was tried, convicted, and served his sentence in before a Taylor Swift relationship ended.
←Rate | 09-07-2016 01:13 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girl on the bus keeps looking at my crocs. This is how sex starts. Watch and learn virgins.
←Rate | 07-25-2016 07:42 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taylor Swift on an episode of Scooby Doo: “And I would’ve gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling Kardashians!"
←Rate | 07-18-2016 05:55 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many points do I get if I hit a Pokemon Go player with my car?
←Rate | 07-17-2016 12:14 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd love to watch Samuel L Jackson and Morgan Freeman get into a heated argument while James Earl Jones tries to stop them.
←Rate | 07-17-2016 02:26 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon some dude playing Pokémon go came inside my house to catch a Pokémon and stole my TV
←Rate | 07-15-2016 13:23 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought there'd be more sex during my sexual prime.
←Rate | 07-13-2016 14:44 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you judge me by my before coffee state of mind, we can't be friends
←Rate | 06-28-2016 14:14 by Baddie Comments (0)  


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