@bitemeNsuckit Funny Status Messages

   pouring a little liquor out for 2 Pacs birthday today...in my mouth.

   hopes Joran van der Sloot gets the electric chair...then he'll be called 'The Frying Dutchman'

   found a dead lizard on the back porch...apparently, a reptile dysfunction.

   isn't sure what's worse...the massive amount of oil gushing into the ocean, or the massive amount of BS gushing from BP executives.

   Since July 2008, three of the four Golden Girls have died. That leaves only one: Betty White -beloved entertainer or calculated killer?

   thinks Apple needs a device that emits warning signals that a loser is approaching...call it the iPutz.

   Since switching from PC to MAC, my computer never goes down on me :(

   'Me and my shadow' my @ss...whenever I get caught, that b!tch runs!

   Seriously, dude in front of me at the register...digging in your pants for the last 2 minutes for change is making you look kinda creepy...

   Well that's funny...actions do not speak louder than words when you're beating a mime.