psycho Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon In a survival situation, you can drink your own urine. Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came back on just as I was filling the can.
←Rate | 12-13-2014 14:23 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon A girl punched me today. Does that still mean she likes me? And if so, why the mace?
←Rate | 12-13-2014 13:17 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how long it took for the Playmates to realize that Hugh's Viagra had worn off and rigor mortis had set in...
←Rate | 09-28-2017 15:12 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to Chopped. Your mystery basket ingredients are four of your exes, from which you must create one decent human being.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 13:42 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can always tell a lot from that first kiss, especially when they say things like "please stop" and "who are you?"
←Rate | 02-02-2015 12:01 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon TERRORISM - This is what happens when you indoctrinate people with fairy tales that have no basis in reality.
←Rate | 06-12-2016 10:54 by Psycho Comments (1)  


   messageicon I don't have any room in my heart for you, but I do have space for you in my trunk.
←Rate | 04-12-2015 14:07 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friends say the craziest things like "hello police" and "he's in our house again."
←Rate | 10-10-2014 02:31 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon In hell, you're served sugar free jam on burnt gluten free toast with decaf coffee.
←Rate | 01-10-2016 12:34 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any girl is a stripper if you wait outside her window long enough
←Rate | 03-18-2015 00:59 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the hands of time have been molesting me.
←Rate | 03-12-2015 00:34 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
←Rate | 02-27-2015 00:16 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon HER: Will you miss me? ME: Only if you run in a zig-zag pattern
←Rate | 10-30-2017 02:50 by psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Strangers get so paranoid when they catch you stirring a mysterious powder into their drink.
←Rate | 07-25-2016 06:51 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon No offense but I wanna set you on fire.
←Rate | 08-11-2016 03:30 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That's really not necessary
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:42 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got tasered at speed dating again.
←Rate | 12-11-2014 00:42 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Bruce Jenner can win woman of the year, I see no reason why Sarah Jessica Parker can't win the Kentucky Derby.
←Rate | 11-12-2015 01:35 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone’s beautiful on the inside. Some people just need a few good stab holes to let that beauty out.
←Rate | 11-07-2014 00:29 by Psycho Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my bloodshot eyes I'm not approachable today
←Rate | 03-31-2015 14:03 by Psycho Comments (0)  



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