Deithy Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon received a call saying that my son had been lying in school, and was being expelled. I don't have a son. That kid is one damn good liar
←Rate | 11-14-2009 09:09 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon went to the bookshop today to get a book about conspiracies. Guess what, there were none there. Coincidence?
←Rate | 12-15-2009 12:54 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon has just read his wife's magazines and there seems to be two topics of major importance to women: .1) Why men are such disgusting pigs and .2) How to attract a man!
←Rate | 11-25-2009 11:14 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon purchased his own Taser off the internet yesterday. In a totally unconnected incident, I've got to buy a cat to replace the neighbour's one this afternoon (and it must be identical looking)........
←Rate | 10-02-2010 12:46 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon wants to know: if you went to bed with a schizophrenic, would it count as a threesome? Just asking.....
←Rate | 10-04-2010 10:38 by deithy Comments (2)  

   messageicon still confused after one of the presenters on Children in Need said, "pick up your phone and pledge". I'm still sitting here with the phone in one hand and a can of furniture polish in the other, wondering what the hell I'm supposed to do next.
←Rate | 11-23-2009 04:44 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon determined to break into the Porn Industry in 2010. I'm not going to listen this time to anyone who says I'm over qualified!
←Rate | 12-31-2009 04:48 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon has just got back from the future...........You wouldn't believe how many blades they have on razors!
←Rate | 10-15-2009 07:04 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon eating Babybels at this special time of year. After all, Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without the baby cheeses.
←Rate | 12-24-2009 17:59 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon remembers a time when 'Binge Drinking' was simply called 'Getting Pissed'
←Rate | 12-17-2009 05:58 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon SHOPPERS: Bored with writing lists for that weekly shop? Simply find discarded lists in trolleys/baskets, and use them! Its spiced up my life.....
←Rate | 02-07-2010 14:03 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon notices that its been so windy of late that even the water in his toilet was choppy!
←Rate | 11-20-2009 09:17 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon woke up with post-it note where one of his toes should have been. It said "Gone to market"....
←Rate | 11-14-2009 09:04 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon somewhat annoyed that finding midgets, painting them green and making them make chocolate is an offence.
←Rate | 10-30-2009 05:36 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks Santa is a judgemental twat who bears a grudge. I've explained the Elves incident a hundred times now. So what if I was caught naked with one of his helpers in a cupboard, it was all an innocent mistake!
←Rate | 12-03-2009 03:10 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon has found an artificial leg on a bus and is going to give it to his wife as a Xmas present. It should make the ideal stocking filler!
←Rate | 12-04-2009 05:23 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon has a message to all Gingers. Let Raoul Moat be a lesson. We will find you and make it look like suicide!
←Rate | 07-16-2010 06:31 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks you should always follow your dreams.........well, except maybe not the one when I'm wondering around naked at work.
←Rate | 08-30-2009 06:51 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon was surprised to find a Christmas present from last year while getting the decorations out. The kids were all excited as I opened the box. What a pity it was a dead puppy
←Rate | 12-19-2009 08:17 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon MERRY XMAS EVERYONE (Yes I know it's a bit early, but I thought I'd start with you miserable and argumentative plebs first!)
←Rate | 12-04-2009 05:29 by deithy Comments (0)  


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