santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic.
←Rate | 01-06-2017 08:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At Christmas time it's fun to take a new Lexus for a test drive, put a big red bow on it & pull into random people's driveways honking.
←Rate | 12-14-2011 16:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Lexus commercials with the Christmas bow on the car never show the pissed off wife yelling "You're an idiot Tom! We can't afford this!"
←Rate | 12-13-2016 04:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I accidentally drank two energy drinks this morning and now my house is decorated for Christmas.
←Rate | 09-25-2013 11:22 by minnie haha Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just a Christmas reminder. Buy your kids a big pack of batteries and attach a card that says "Toys not Included".
←Rate | 11-27-2011 17:16 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
←Rate | 01-24-2013 06:29 by Stan Brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now it's too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.
←Rate | 06-16-2016 01:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wrap all my Christmas gifts in bubble wrap.....it's like giving two gifts in one!
←Rate | 12-12-2013 15:28 by EF Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you are posting how many days there are until Christmas in November, you should have to do all the dishes after Thanksgiving dinner.
←Rate | 11-13-2010 11:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa I've been good all year! Ok most of the time. I Mean once in a while. Oh...F*ck it, I'll buy my own sh#t.......
←Rate | 11-30-2011 09:24 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Dad asked me what I wanted for Xmas tonight. I told him a gift certificate from Adam and Eve so I could get that swing set. He said he thought the kids were a bit old for it but he said he would look it up online. Boy is he in for a surprise.....
←Rate | 12-16-2010 17:18 by Peter Gillespie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor put up his Christmas lights today. I bet he's pissed that I beat him to it. I put mine up three years ago.
←Rate | 11-27-2010 13:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'll know I'm your "Secret Santa" when you dont get anything!
←Rate | 12-09-2010 21:13 by @Jimboleem Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
←Rate | 12-16-2012 20:19 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon This "fancy" wine rack I got for Christmas is total crap. NONE of these boxes fit at all
←Rate | 01-29-2010 14:29 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road, I'm gonna leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says "Help, need ride!"
←Rate | 11-26-2012 10:34 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
←Rate | 12-25-2012 19:24 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's February. Think now may be a good time to take down your freakin' Christmas lights? Hmm?
←Rate | 02-04-2011 15:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out Santa is the ultimate Millennial Hipster ..... He works one day a year .... and spends the rest of the year judging you.
←Rate | 12-02-2016 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well Easter is almost over, just saw Walmart employees putting up Christmas Decorations......
←Rate | 04-16-2017 11:08 Comments (0)  



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