Friday Funny Status Messages

   Gun sales hit #1 record for a Black Friday sales item.

   Went to a Black Friday thing a my sweetheart’s house… all clothes were 100% off.

   Watching Friday the 13th. A load of awful make-up on brain-dead zombies. Oh wait. Sorry, wrong channel. This is "The View".

   I am really looking forward to my favorite Thanksgiving tradition. Watching the "Black Friday" shoppers at Walmart trampling each other on the evening news.

   How come today is Monday when yesterday was only Friday??

   If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.

   "Friday" is an old Indian word that means "Just two more days until Monday."

   In honor of it being Friday the 13th, whenever I hear a strange noise, I'm going to investigate it braless, and wearing cute panties.

   Every day can be Friday if you're really irresponsible.

   Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls

   Friday. The golden child of the weekdays. The superhero of the workweek. The welcome wagon to the weekend. The famous F word we thank God for every week.

   In addition to Casual Friday, I propose the following: Punch A Coworker Monday, No Pants Tuesday, Drunk At Work Wednesday, and Call In Sick Thursday.

   Welcome to Friday. In preparation for takeoff, please ensure all negative attitudes are properly stowed. On behalf of your captain, Samuel Adams and myself, welcome aboard. I expect sunshine and good attitudes today for our trip. Enjoy the ride.

   Who came up with the brilliant idea of moving the clocks forward on the weekend...in the middle of the night?? Why not move them ahead on a Friday around 4PM?

   Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there's already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok by friday;)

   Spring makes every day feel like you're stuck in the office on a Friday afternoon.

   Came home Friday with flowers for the missus. When I handed them to her she replied, "Great. Now I have to spend all weekend on my back with my legs in the air." Obviously confused I asked, "Why? Don't we have any vases?

   My boss yelled at me yesterday "It's the fifth time you've been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it's Friday?"…

   Black Friday? That's ones of those Ice Cube movies right?

   Dear Radio Stations, please do not play Katy Perry's "Friday Night" Monday morning at 8 AM during my drive to work.