markf Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Instead of buying a mass produced pumpkin at the store, this year my family will adopt one from a shelter
←Rate | 10-22-2017 20:58 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon Not sure who will be performing at the Super Bowl half-time this season but I am already furious about it
←Rate | 09-26-2017 08:59 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just remember son -- when you text a girl, you are also texting at least 5 of her friends.
←Rate | 09-02-2017 23:44 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone just told me to take it one day at a time. I wish I had known there was another option.
←Rate | 10-15-2017 00:37 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm reaching the point where I really hope it's not possible to be annoyed to death.
←Rate | 10-15-2017 00:19 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that the government has re-opened I guess I have to stop removing these mattress tags
←Rate | 01-23-2018 15:07 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to make a millenial laugh: tell them you have only 22 photos of your entire childhood.
←Rate | 08-20-2017 09:46 by MarkF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time you find yourself complaining on your $600 smartphone, put it down and rethink your life.
←Rate | 09-16-2017 22:36 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love talking to small children. No adult is ever going to ask me what my 3rd favorite dinosaur is.
←Rate | 08-20-2017 09:27 by Markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, your smart devices can talk to each other now and they are giggling about you behind your back.
←Rate | 01-20-2018 20:25 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most advanced telescopes use mirrors so we really have no way to know how many vampires are in space
←Rate | 01-24-2018 16:05 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my dog needs training school because he rudely yawned in the middle of my stories.
←Rate | 01-28-2018 20:03 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering what Captain Hook's name was before he lost his hand.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 09:39 by markf Comments (5)  


   messageicon relieved to see Facebook finally expanded the Religion choice to include Amish, for all those Amish people out there with computers.
←Rate | 10-12-2010 12:20 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why people with bad breath are always wanting to tell me a secret.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 08:48 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking that now the Government of Egypt has banned all internet traffic, do we just call it Gypt?
←Rate | 02-02-2011 10:48 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon glad to hear that SeaWorld is reopening its "safer" shows this week featuring Norman, the Involuntary Manslaughter Whale.
←Rate | 03-01-2010 07:51 by markf Comments (1)  


   messageicon just had a work email from someone asking to "bare with me" until the system is back up. I replied that I didn't see how nudity would fix the problem.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 11:02 by markf Comments (2)  


   messageicon realizes he is too apologetic sometimes. Sorry.
←Rate | 03-30-2010 12:50 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks Toyota should change its motto from "Moving Forward" to "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!"
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:31 by markf Comments (0)  



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