JMartin Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Unfortunately, showing that much cleavage doesn't fix your face.
←Rate | 12-10-2012 14:09 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon People that wear sunglasses inside, have to.......because it's always sunny in Doucheville.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 20:42 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I'm saying is black actors never adopt poor white babies. Pretty selfish, blactors.
←Rate | 12-11-2012 19:56 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking on the bright side, if the Mayans are right, this is the last Monday we'll ever have to deal with.
←Rate | 12-17-2012 17:51 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
←Rate | 12-17-2012 18:00 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm the most responsible person I know. Whenever anything goes wrong, I'm responsible.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 20:38 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I promise to love you for better or until things get worse.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 14:56 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever cast J-Lo in the movie "Anaconda" was a genius, because anacondas don't want none unless you got buns, hun.
←Rate | 12-11-2012 20:17 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe it's been a whole year since I didn't become a better person!
←Rate | 12-31-2012 13:23 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy New Year everybody! I know its a bit early but I often suffer from premature congratulations.
←Rate | 12-31-2012 13:24 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon The ultimate home security system is just having crappy stuff.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 21:55 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm only good at math when I'm adding insult to injury.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 21:45 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not officially the holiday season until I've ignored a Salvation Army Santa.
←Rate | 12-10-2012 14:01 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
←Rate | 09-25-2012 10:38 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so cold outside my nipples just typed this status.
←Rate | 12-12-2012 11:48 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Grammar: The difference between feeling you're nuts, and feeling your nuts.
←Rate | 12-17-2012 18:01 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Worried cause I heard a beep and didn't know if it was my cell, ipod, Wii, Skype, Facebook, email, Twitter or TV but it was just my fire alarm. Phew!
←Rate | 09-22-2012 17:24 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon If video games have taught me anything, it's that you'll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss.
←Rate | 01-11-2013 20:14 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unfortunately, there was a lot more camel toe than mistletoe at the office Christmas party last night.
←Rate | 12-09-2012 16:53 by JMartin Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a special place in he'll for autocorrect.
←Rate | 12-11-2012 19:57 by JMartin Comments (0)  



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