JohnY Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I've come to the conclusion that the things I most desire in life are illegal, very expensive, fattening, bad for my health, too young for me, or married to someone else.
←Rate | 04-19-2018 14:43 by JohnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
←Rate | 04-30-2018 13:48 by JohnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any way I see it Jack and Jill were both idiots... Who in the hell goes up hill to find water?
←Rate | 03-08-2018 14:09 by JohnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just ate a box of stove top stuffing in my underwear while laying on the couch. So if you're looking to me for something inspirational, you should probably look elsewhere.
←Rate | 01-02-2018 12:40 by JohnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon We wipe our )( blind, but we put our deodorant on using a mirror...
←Rate | 04-16-2018 15:15 by JohnY Comments (2)  


   messageicon Whether you follow your head or you heart, be careful. One of them is clearly an idiot!
←Rate | 10-06-2017 13:38 by JohnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice try "St. Patrick," but I was going to drink anyway. Now...LET'S GET READY TO STUMMMMBLLLLE!
←Rate | 03-17-2018 14:09 by JohnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon You never hear anything about the women from Nantucket. I wonder what they are like...
←Rate | 08-17-2018 13:38 by JohnY Comments (1)  


   messageicon anyone else heading out tonight for a game of "Halloween Costume or Whore?"
←Rate | 10-28-2017 12:54 by JohnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro Tip: Dryer sheets double as toilet paper and leave your ass smelling like lavender rain drops!
←Rate | 03-01-2018 14:07 by JohnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am curently baking the air in here @400° because I am not turning the heat on yet!
←Rate | 09-10-2017 14:07 by JohnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter what side of the aisle you lean towards or sit on, this tax plan is a soggy turdburger.
←Rate | 11-09-2017 11:14 by JohnY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not ignoring your call, I just get so excited when I see the caller ID I faint!
←Rate | 01-03-2018 12:41 by JohnY Comments (0)  



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