jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's not the fall off a tall building that kills you. It's the sudden stop.
←Rate | 09-17-2018 21:31 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most all husbands lie on their tax returns by listing them self as the head of household.
←Rate | 09-17-2018 21:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say it's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding. After years of marriage, I find it's bad luck after the wedding as well.
←Rate | 09-16-2018 04:21 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife used to be a size eight. Now she's a figure 8.
←Rate | 09-11-2018 21:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a new woman's talk show called "The Woman's Talk hour." It's on weekdays from 1pm to 3:30pm.
←Rate | 08-29-2018 13:32 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is it that you have that other people use more often than you do?....... Your name :)
←Rate | 08-28-2018 20:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in the day google was the encylopedia.
←Rate | 08-28-2018 20:17 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rule #1 in marriage. If she not happy you won't be happy.
←Rate | 08-22-2018 23:41 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
←Rate | 08-18-2018 06:05 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Why is it called mooning when you're actually showing uranus?
←Rate | 08-17-2018 01:41 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know that your wife's cooking is bad when dessert is Tum's chewables.
←Rate | 08-15-2018 02:10 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I find you're total lack of ambition is inspiring.
←Rate | 08-12-2018 01:30 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man injured his hand at work. The doctor said sorry but we need to amputate one of your fingers. Man ask the hole finger? Doctor said no, the one next to it.
←Rate | 08-11-2018 20:53 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it wasn't intended for you to have a midnight snack. There would not be a light in the fridge.
←Rate | 08-11-2018 13:54 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man agreeing with a woman doesn't mean he agrees with her. It's just away to shut her up.
←Rate | 08-10-2018 13:24 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, you'll really never know your woman untill you are married to her.
←Rate | 08-09-2018 15:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife has a slight speach impediment........ Every now and then she stops to take a breath.
←Rate | 08-09-2018 02:26 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Where does Peter Pan have his lunch? At Wendy's.
←Rate | 08-05-2018 23:36 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I called the vet. and told him that my wife willbe dropping by with our old cat. Can you euthanizer her without any pain? Sure he said, but will the cat find it's way back home alone?
←Rate | 08-03-2018 21:07 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time my wife and I have sex, I put a dollar in a envelope. With the money I save up, I use to buy her anniversay gift. This year she getting a Mar's bar.
←Rate | 08-03-2018 20:34 by Jake Comments (0)  

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