jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I think I have alzheimer's
←Rate | 06-17-2018 23:26 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I stand behind anal sex.
←Rate | 06-17-2018 23:21 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who's your daddy takes on a whole new meaning in the ghetto.
←Rate | 06-17-2018 01:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What dad's really would like for father'r day. To be left alone so they can drink their beer in peace.
←Rate | 06-16-2018 22:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just deserts: When a cashier hands you dollar bills back as change. Hold them up to the light like they do when you pay them.
←Rate | 06-14-2018 18:14 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, you can tell that your boyfriend really likes you when he removes the dirty dishes from the kitchen sink before peeing in it.
←Rate | 06-14-2018 03:23 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most licenses expire..... Except for the one most husbands wish would.
←Rate | 06-14-2018 00:43 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Play boy no longer have nude models...... What is this world coming to.
←Rate | 06-13-2018 15:07 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boss at meeting said it would nice if you employees would start showing me a little respect. One employee replied oh we show you as little respect as possible.
←Rate | 06-08-2018 16:10 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spent at least half an hour trying to get my girlfriends bra off. I will never try wearing that again.
←Rate | 06-07-2018 03:21 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife jabbers so much that when we go to the beach, she has to put suntan lotion on her tongue.
←Rate | 06-07-2018 02:46 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids maybe a gift..... But I like playing with the box it came in.
←Rate | 06-05-2018 22:58 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never knew I had so many aunts and uncles untill my parents separated.
←Rate | 06-05-2018 17:56 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's worse, women who want you to figure what's bothering them? Or the ones who tell you?
←Rate | 06-05-2018 13:53 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I finally reached the age where happy hour is taking a nap.
←Rate | 06-05-2018 13:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys don't appreciate being single untill they been married for awhile.
←Rate | 06-04-2018 16:11 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids don't remember the things you tell them untill it's something you shouldn't of said.
←Rate | 06-04-2018 16:07 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he neverlands.
←Rate | 06-04-2018 15:07 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only president who didn't blame the previous administration for all his troubles was George Washington.
←Rate | 06-04-2018 14:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not saying that women walmart shoppers have bad teeth. But when the woman in line in front of me smiled. The barcode scanner rang up a set of sauce pans.
←Rate | 06-03-2018 23:42 by Jake Comments (1)  

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