Nate004 Funny Status Messages

   My girlfriend just caught me blow drying my pen!s and asked what I was doing. Apparently, "heating your dinner" was not the right answer.

   When life sucks I sit back and enjoy the head

   I think aussies were the first to jerk off into a sock. How else would they come up with the boomerang?

   You remind me of my pinkie toe because I know I'm eventually going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my place.

   During sex you burn as many calories as running 8kms. Who the f*ck runs 8kms in 30 seconds?!

   I f*cked a fat chick in an elevator...it was wrong on so many levels.

   How can everyone have the "best gf/bf in the world" on Facebook? I'm pretty sure someone is lieing

   Someone should come up with a cell phone charger extention cord.

   Imagine if people were punished like dogs and had our noses rubbed in wrong doings? "Aw man, forgot to take out the trash" Welp, untie that bag and get your face in there. Look at him, he knows what he did.

   the words "epic" and "swag" must be abolished at some point. But then again Snoop Dogg has epic swag.