Jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I don't see anything wrong with a kidnapping. If a kid wants to take a nap, let them.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 21:19 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whife ask what's the thing about a bj. I said the five minutes of silence.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 20:17 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between broccoli and boogers. Kids won't eat broccoli.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 20:14 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have a system for making long distance phone calls. The family and friends plan. I go to a friends house and use their phone to call my family.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 12:52 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other is the husband.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 00:54 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon How can you tell if a man is blind at a nudist colony? It's not hard.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 00:27 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Read a book on how to have a happy marriage. It stated to treat your wife the way you did while dating her. So after dinner tonight I'll drop her off at her parents house.
←Rate | 01-20-2018 23:38 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have a bladder infection, "urine" trouble.
←Rate | 01-20-2018 21:59 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon A gambling addiction can cost you your marriage or win you a divorce
←Rate | 01-20-2018 00:19 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids have middle names so they can tell when they're really in trouble.
←Rate | 01-18-2018 21:31 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once was brave enough to shave my privates with a straight razor. But now I don't have the balls to do it again.
←Rate | 01-18-2018 21:25 by JAKE Comments (0)  


   messageicon When we first ment on a blind date my girlfriend wasn't that interested in me. Untill she saw me lick my eyebrows.
←Rate | 01-17-2018 21:02 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women have better minds then men because the keep changing their minds.
←Rate | 01-11-2018 20:49 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Neighbor are the only one who lissen to both side of an argument.
←Rate | 01-11-2018 20:45 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon A man's home is his castle. Untill the queen comes home.
←Rate | 01-11-2018 20:43 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I realized I wasn't my parents favorite kid when they ask me to help blow up ballonns for my twin brother's surprise birthday party.
←Rate | 01-11-2018 20:40 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the shovel was invented, it was a ground breaking experience.
←Rate | 01-06-2018 20:43 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Babies cry at night to prevent their parents from making another one.
←Rate | 01-06-2018 00:34 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the past few days my Doritos stock started to skyrocket. Thank you California.
←Rate | 01-04-2018 07:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon In California, ever day is now 420
←Rate | 01-04-2018 06:25 by Jake Comments (0)  


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