Dude Funny Status Messages

   I put my phone in airplane mode and it immediately broke into pieces and crashed on the floor.

   It's sad when your chances of winning the lottery are BETTER than getting a decent raise at work.

   Never get attached to your coworkers. You might have to throw them at a deranged gunman someday

   With all the craziness going on in the world, I can just say; stay strapped, my friends.

   Someday, I'll be as rich as the Clinton's were when they said they were broke.

   If being gay was so wrong, then why didn't it make it onto God's top 10 list?

   Gay Divorce Court is going to be hilarious.

   If gay couple want to get married and be just as miserable as straight couples, let'em.

   New Jersey residents are being advised to NOT eat the fish washed up in the sewer. Which is ironic considering the sewer is the cleanest part of New Jersey.

   Childhood I'd idolizing Batman. Adulthood is realizing The Joker made more sense.