@psym0niedk9 Funny Status Messages

   Groundhog just slid a note under the door that read 6 more months winter. Don't worry I've got my shotgun and I'm asking him again.

   Hooters should start a home delivery service and call it Knockers.

   I was in a Spelling Bee onze. But I lost bekause the other students cheeted.

   My wife is so fat she speaks in surround sound!!

   My neighbor came rudely banging at my door at 2:30 am, luckily for him I was up practicing on my new drums!!

   You know times are tough when you receive a friend request on facebook from Tom Anderson (MySpace). I guess he is one of the 47% that got fired from MySpace!

   Lost 9lbs in one day using a new diet, where I ran to the bathroom every 5 minutes for 24 hours. The stomach virus DVD workout will soon be out!

   "I am, is the shortest sentence in the English language, funny how "I do" is the longest!!

   On my 8th slice of pizza watching the bigget loser!! Time to make a change!! Where's the remote??

   I'm opening a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50