flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon if Charles is in Charge of our days and our nights, who's this God guy people are talking about?
←Rate | 05-22-2010 03:42 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just read something so funny it made me spit coffee out my nose, which is odd because I wasn't drinking coffee at the time.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 10:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
←Rate | 06-01-2010 23:57 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon just read the list of movies the library of congress deemed worthy to preserve, Breakin' 2 electric boogaloo was robbed again!
←Rate | 12-29-2010 22:56 by flinnie Comments (2)  


   messageicon I called a company and heard "Baby got back" while I was on hold. At first it seemed cool, but do I really want Health insurance from a company that plays Sir Mix-a-lot?
←Rate | 01-04-2011 00:35 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon just once I want my wife to greet me like the dog, jumping on me, licking me all over and wiggling her butt. But if she's only doing it so she can go out to pee. like the dog, I'd be devastated
←Rate | 01-23-2011 05:26 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've decided that if I ever go into witness protection my name will be Mr. Dobalina, Mr. Bob Dobalina
←Rate | 01-23-2011 05:42 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon 9 out of 10 doctors think that other one is just a hater
←Rate | 01-23-2011 06:18 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon in other countries they riot against brutal dictators, in America we riot when our sports team wins a championship
←Rate | 01-28-2011 21:34 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon nothing makes you feel old like that girl your co-workers are ogling at was born when you graduated HS, and her mom babysat you as a kid!
←Rate | 01-29-2011 16:49 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon just read wikileaks next bombshell is that Captain Crunch was actually only rose to the rank of Ensign
←Rate | 01-30-2011 05:06 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather
←Rate | 02-02-2011 05:01 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Money talks, and unfortunately mine only can say "goodbye!"
←Rate | 03-04-2011 05:45 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon to all the dead beat dads that messed up their daughters...thanks! Sincerely every guy that likes strippers
←Rate | 03-08-2011 04:33 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon last night I prayed for the Lord to stop me from going bald, and to regrow hair. This morning I woke up with a 6 inch hair growing out my ear. Well played Lord, Well played
←Rate | 03-12-2011 17:29 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did any bad guy in Scooby Doo actually commit a crime? I'm pretty sure wearing a silly mask and scaring people isn't illegal.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 05:54 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I'd like to see a drug commercial that says, "May cause extreme awesomeness."
←Rate | 03-18-2011 09:00 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon if I ever win the lottery the first thing I'm gonna do is hire a priest, a rabbi and a minister to walk into bars with me
←Rate | 03-28-2011 05:37 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon This world is not going to make any real progress until we stop perpetuating the belief that "paper" beats "rock."
←Rate | 04-09-2011 08:46 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want a job naming military operations. It be great to hear a stoic general talk about how "Operation My little pony" was a success
←Rate | 04-10-2011 06:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


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