letsfly Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon So I just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God I love my boobs.
←Rate | 04-08-2011 18:55 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
←Rate | 04-08-2011 19:08 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
←Rate | 04-08-2011 19:11 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not guilty? This is the worst episode of Law & Order ever.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 18:09 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
←Rate | 04-08-2011 19:06 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just so all of my friends know, If I ever say the phrase "okie dokie artichokie" to you, it's a signal and means I've either been kidnapped or I've run out of vodka. One of the two
←Rate | 04-06-2011 13:01 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
←Rate | 04-13-2011 19:42 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is the real me. Full of problems. Full of love. Full of lost. Full of hurt. Full of life. Full of hope. Full of happiness. Most of all.....Full of friends.
←Rate | 07-03-2012 16:12 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon when people ask....I tell them I been sober for 21 years.
←Rate | 07-08-2012 19:11 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
←Rate | 04-13-2011 19:43 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon i wanted to go smoke pot, so I told my mom I was getting tutored. she asked what time I would be back, I told her learning doesn't have a curfew
←Rate | 04-13-2011 19:47 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
←Rate | 04-08-2011 19:00 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should make Vodka ChapStick
←Rate | 01-26-2011 12:16 by letsfly Comments (1)  


   messageicon i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if I failed the breathalizer.
←Rate | 04-08-2011 19:01 by letsfly Comments (0)  


   messageicon I made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if I failed the breathalyzer.
←Rate | 04-08-2011 19:05 by letsfly Comments (0)  


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