ds Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon When she came home I had laid a trail of roses to the bedroom...I had candles lit everywhere, jazz playing in the background and wine chilling with me waiting for her in my robe...now the next thing I need to do is introduce myself......
←Rate | 11-22-2009 18:33 by DS Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some of my best relationships now are with people who I dont have relationships with anymore.....
←Rate | 01-25-2010 18:41 by ds Comments (0)  

   messageicon My New Year's Resolution is to finish what I star........
←Rate | 01-05-2010 21:53 by ds Comments (0)  

   messageicon Gotta love sharing a bathroom with elderly family after Thanksgiving Dinner...I feel like Andy Dufrain crawling thru those 200 hundred yards of pipe for freedom....
←Rate | 11-26-2009 16:59 by DS Comments (1)  

   messageicon So...Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, and Ben Rothelisberger walk into a bar........
←Rate | 03-07-2010 06:31 by ds Comments (0)  

   messageicon Winter always reminds to think ahead for the springtime...meaning...gotta find somewhere to hide the bodies when the snow thaws.......
←Rate | 01-11-2010 09:56 by ds Comments (0)  

   messageicon What a night...can't remember a thing...why is there waffle house syrup in the bed..the lingerie hanging from the chandelier is hot! but, umm, where are the girls? were there....any...girls here last night????
←Rate | 01-26-2010 09:02 by ds Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hey can anyone tell me what rhymes with "homicidal tendencies" thanks...
←Rate | 11-24-2009 12:28 by ds Comments (0)  

   messageicon After all these years It finally hit me why Prison/Jail is called "The Pokey"
←Rate | 12-20-2009 17:41 by ds Comments (0)  

   messageicon Man, somedays I just miss Del Taco
←Rate | 07-01-2009 20:18 by DS | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon In hindsight...maybe telling the whole family while we were pulling names for christmas grab bag that I was going to be getting into directing porn was not really the ideal time to do so....I did however draw Grandma Gertrude though!!!!
←Rate | 11-27-2009 00:39 by DS Comments (0)  

   messageicon just thought I would put a sign out in front yard that reads "firewood for sale" even though I have no firewood to sell...always wanted to do that
←Rate | 07-01-2009 18:56 by DS | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Valentines Day baby, just to prove my love to you I am going to take you to Red Lobster today for lunch and let you get appetizers and shiattt
←Rate | 02-14-2010 09:37 by ds Comments (0)  

   messageicon I measure the wealth of my day by asking myself did I add more friends today over friends who have deleted me on Facebook
←Rate | 01-22-2010 13:29 by ds Comments (0)  

   messageicon I bet Curious George's owner is getting his azz pinched off today for St Patty's Day
←Rate | 03-17-2010 07:29 by ds Comments (0)  

   messageicon Paul Ryan joins older siblings, Rex and Rob, in attempt to lead dozens of grown men determined to undermine him.
←Rate | 10-22-2015 22:14 by DS Comments (0)  


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