anonymous Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon wants to say to the nice stranger he saw while driving around, "Next time you wave at me, use all of your fingers."
←Rate | 04-22-2009 01:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon says, "If you want something in life, you have to work hard for it... Now shut up! They're about to announce the winning lottery numbers!"
←Rate | 04-08-2009 06:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 9000 POEPLE ARE HAVING SEX RIGHT NOW...2000 ARE KISSING...1000 ARE ENJOYING ORAL... AND ONE LONELY F##KER IS READING MY STATUS......YOU HANG IN THERE SUNSHINE
←Rate | 04-30-2009 10:56 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon not every flower can say love, but a rose does. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus does. Not every retard can read... but look at you go!
←Rate | 04-28-2009 13:18 Comments (8)  


   messageicon just once, wants to hear Bob The Builder say "Can we build it?! No, were f*cked!!"
←Rate | 04-03-2009 21:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone find themselves singing hollaback girl anytime they need to spell the word bananas?
←Rate | 01-04-2011 18:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
←Rate | 05-10-2009 08:31 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon was always taught, "You become what you eat." So he only eat rich foods. He's still waiting...
←Rate | 05-15-2009 17:10 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon wishes grass was emo so it would cut itself.
←Rate | 05-04-2009 08:48 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks it is wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
←Rate | 04-17-2009 23:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ashamed of what he did for a Klondike bar.
←Rate | 02-04-2009 10:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "used to care, but now I take a pill for that!! "
←Rate | 02-15-2009 16:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why people think they are invisible when they pick their noses in the car?
←Rate | 10-29-2008 16:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wishing my mouth had a backspace key.
←Rate | 05-04-2009 23:05 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon letting you know your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory
←Rate | 02-26-2008 18:44 Comments (7)  


   messageicon Sometimes I go down to the Home Depot and pick up day laborers in my truck just to have people to drink with. Hop in, amigos. It's Miller time.
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't make mistakes, she dates them
←Rate | 04-02-2009 20:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who decided that a round pizza should be put in a square box?
←Rate | 05-06-2009 04:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I found out I was going to be burned at the stake, I think I'd fill all my pockets with popcorn kernels
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:47 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon tired of chasing his dreams. I'm just going to ask where they are going and hook up with them later.
←Rate | 04-16-2008 09:24 Comments (0)  


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