XXX-FUXY Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon America: the only country in the world where not wearing a seat-belt carries a bigger penalty then letting hackers steal 143 million citizens social security numbers, bank info, drivers licenses and credit cards...
←Rate | 09-16-2017 09:45 by XXX-FUXY Comments (3)  


   messageicon Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in...
←Rate | 10-12-2017 09:22 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stress makes you very tired, but it`s stressful to avoid stress, so you end up stressed out anyway,
←Rate | 02-04-2012 08:49 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Employee: I got to have salary increase. Three other companies are after me. Boss: Really? Which are the three companies? Employee: The electric company, the telephone company and the gas company.
←Rate | 04-22-2012 17:12 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were a cannibal I'd only eat vegetarians, just for the irony...
←Rate | 09-18-2017 21:38 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon The local orphanage called and asked for a donation. So I sent over two of my neighbor's kids.
←Rate | 02-10-2012 07:11 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already
←Rate | 02-05-2012 21:24 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Change is good as long as I don't have to do anything different.
←Rate | 02-10-2012 07:09 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock...
←Rate | 02-10-2012 07:02 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girl got naked and asked me to "Show her a good time." So I showed her Facebook pics of me with my friends the night before...
←Rate | 02-25-2016 17:51 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it...
←Rate | 02-07-2012 09:01 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Weight loss tip: Do not eat to make yourself happy. Have sex instead!
←Rate | 08-18-2013 11:46 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving...
←Rate | 02-04-2012 08:58 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Making a million friends is not a miracle. The miracle is to make a friend who will stand by you when millions are against you.
←Rate | 02-07-2012 09:07 by XXX-FUXY Comments (1)  


   messageicon When a man says he'll do anything for a woman, he means slaying dragons, killing zombies and rescuing her from castle towers. IT DOES NOT MEAN cleaning garage, fixing roof and cleaning out the basement!!!
←Rate | 07-09-2017 08:38 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon All we need to keep us happy - is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done!!!
←Rate | 04-23-2012 22:10 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend said she wanted me to be more like her Ex. So I dumped her.
←Rate | 02-10-2012 07:03 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I could turn invisible I'd go to Paris and beat up a performing street mime… The amount of applause he'd get would be amazing!
←Rate | 02-20-2012 10:55 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd love to get a hold of Mitt Romney and ask him who does his taxes…
←Rate | 04-04-2012 18:20 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back...
←Rate | 02-05-2012 21:26 by XXX-FUXY Comments (0)  



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