SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I should run for political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up. It would be nice to piece together my twenties.
←Rate | 02-03-2012 13:21 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who else had one of those pens with a million colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once?
←Rate | 06-05-2012 10:51 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone says "I love you," and you don't feel the same way, say "I love Youtube" really fast.
←Rate | 08-18-2011 11:42 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)  


   messageicon When I hear "Tropical Depression" I think of Toucan Sam sitting in a rain-forest crying.
←Rate | 12-31-2011 08:43 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don't trust it. Everyone knows it's impossible to drive without eating the fries.
←Rate | 01-23-2012 11:04 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Memo to self: Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you've Gone Commando a few times in your life.
←Rate | 07-18-2012 18:57 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cool thing about being in a relationship is that when you make a mistake you get to hear about it 1,345,435 times.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 09:24 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love Halloween because it's the only night of the year I may end up getting drunk with Batman and going home with a cheerleader.
←Rate | 10-30-2011 09:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
←Rate | 12-05-2011 08:59 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I did was walk by an Abercrombie and Fitch and now my name is Trent, my shirt is off, and I'm really into shell necklaces.
←Rate | 04-14-2012 14:47 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always go the extra mile. The restraining order says I have to.
←Rate | 06-06-2012 12:41 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If A-B-C-D didn't drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn't have to be so rushed.
←Rate | 08-22-2011 16:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.
←Rate | 09-02-2011 11:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The coolest thing about being a dog must be the ability to use your own ass for a pillow.
←Rate | 02-28-2012 10:10 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" is a clever little b@stard.
←Rate | 06-30-2012 03:49 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dora has taught me just enough Spanish to engage Spanish-speaking people in the worst conversation they've ever had.
←Rate | 11-21-2011 09:14 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When buying a flat screen tv, always remember to put the box in your neighbor's trash so you don't get robbed.
←Rate | 09-19-2011 11:14 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon The majority of life's greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 16:16 by SuthernFukr Comments (2)  


   messageicon FOR SALE: P90X® home fitness kit, still in box, $50 or will trade for king size Snickers
←Rate | 02-01-2012 09:33 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)  


   messageicon 1. Open fridge. Nothing to eat. 2. Open pantry. Nothing to eat. 3. Lower standards and repeat
←Rate | 01-19-2012 10:44 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  



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