StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When you're a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
←Rate | 06-30-2012 17:46 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend told me not to say anything about his new girlfriends lazy eye, so I made sure to give numerous compliments on her normal one.
←Rate | 10-01-2013 03:53 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon So wait, if I post a letter without a stamp and just put the intended address as the return address, won't it be sent there anyway?
←Rate | 04-03-2013 01:07 by StonerDudee Comments (5)  


   messageicon Every time Nicki Minaj tells someone their voice isn't good enough on Idol, someone is crushed to death by the weight of the irony.
←Rate | 01-20-2013 10:04 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
←Rate | 07-08-2013 11:04 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
←Rate | 09-02-2012 20:26 by StonerDudee Comments (4)  


   messageicon Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
←Rate | 12-16-2012 20:19 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo's show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it's Halloween because our family reunion was in July....
←Rate | 09-25-2013 19:42 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was eating Oreos, and I was dunking one in milk and the cookie broke and sank to the bottom. So now I'm just sitting here, staring at the glass and wondering why bad things happen to good people.
←Rate | 08-02-2012 12:12 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pirates that used X to mark the spot were stupid. If they had used a G, nobody would ever have found their treasure.
←Rate | 11-19-2012 23:43 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Go home North Korea, you're drunk!
←Rate | 03-30-2013 17:43 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, if that doesn't accurately describe my life I don't know what does
←Rate | 01-02-2015 20:50 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've just seen an advert in my local newspaper. ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! $35,000 - $40,000 So I called them up and said, "The answer is -$5,000."
←Rate | 03-30-2013 17:51 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some days I think Forrest had the right idea when he dropped everything and just kept running.
←Rate | 12-05-2012 14:10 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Shout Out to all the beautiful women who don't need to dress half naked to get a man's attention. Stay classy! The rest of you, come with me.
←Rate | 12-11-2012 19:16 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon My roommate is on a date and said he's convinced she's coming home with him tonight. I've covered his room in Justin Bieber posters. Now we wait.
←Rate | 05-09-2013 17:33 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you're smart too, I like that.
←Rate | 10-22-2013 20:55 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman's mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. Time.
←Rate | 03-28-2013 22:55 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon I see subway employees are still having their "how much lettuce can you fit on a sandwich" contest.
←Rate | 09-29-2013 02:19 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how loud you crank the bass, it's still a minivan.
←Rate | 08-12-2013 19:58 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  



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