Slickpony Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon ‎"Dijon found himself spread upon a bed of lettuce, atop a thin slice of turkey breast....enveloped by steamy buns....garnished with a sweet, crisp pickle...." ~~ Excerpt from my new book "50 SHADES OF GREY POUPON"....
←Rate | 08-01-2012 01:06 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....I'm still waiting on the "Once you go black, you'll never go back" episode of Mythbusters....
←Rate | 02-14-2012 08:46 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....I just found a bottle of 5-Hour Energy in the gutter.....there was still 18 minutes of energy in it....just the boost I needed....
←Rate | 02-08-2012 12:28 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....I've decided I'm going to write the first Gangsta Rap adaptation of Winnie-The-Pooh....I'm gonna call it 'Tigga Please'....
←Rate | 04-24-2012 17:07 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....they say one in every four men are gay....so there must be one in my group of friends.....I hope it's Michael, 'cuz he's super cute....
←Rate | 04-23-2012 15:10 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know...."Manuscript" is probably the classiest place to hide the word "anus"....
←Rate | 02-14-2012 08:44 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader"....but I can buy booze!....so Booyah B!itches!!
←Rate | 02-03-2012 01:49 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Unicorn soup is freaking delicious! ~~ Noah, probably
←Rate | 02-09-2012 14:59 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....my uncle came out of the closet yesterday....Oh, he's not gay....he just has Alzheimer's and thought it was his car....
←Rate | 02-03-2012 01:47 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon did you know....that if you set fire to LMFAO....they'll become ROTFLMAO?
←Rate | 02-07-2012 02:26 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....right now I'm pretty disgusted with MIA....OH, not for giving America the finger....but because we were >this< close to forgetting her annoying ass ever existed....
←Rate | 02-05-2012 23:42 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....has anyone else ever noticed....that Kurt Cobain killed himself one month after Justin Bieber was born....I guess Kurt knew....
←Rate | 02-10-2012 23:17 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon you know....it seems Assholism runs in my family....
←Rate | 02-10-2012 11:46 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....I think if you win The Voice, you should get to motorboat Christina Aguilera....but, to be fair, if you lose....you have to motorboat Cee Lo Green....
←Rate | 02-05-2012 23:23 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....unfortunately....I put the "tiny" in "Is it in yet?" :(
←Rate | 02-09-2012 14:54 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hello 911?" "Someone just stole my status on Facebook....yes, I'll hold"....
←Rate | 02-08-2013 00:34 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon so....I often joke that my wife is too fat for sex....I call her 'Missionary Impossible'....
←Rate | 07-12-2012 23:50 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon It picks the movie out quickly from the Redbox or it gets the hose again....you stupid b!tch....
←Rate | 07-13-2012 18:26 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Can't You Just Let Me Watch The Damn Football Game?" ~~ the Working Title of my new Childrens book, probably....
←Rate | 08-01-2012 01:08 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look here Dora....If you ever want to see your monkey friend again you are gonna stick these condoms full of heroin in your ass and get them through customs....
←Rate | 07-13-2012 18:27 by Slickpony Comments (0)  


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