Michael Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Michael': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 8

   messageicon The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I'm sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.
←Rate | 09-11-2013 08:25 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've currently got the higest eBay bid on Detroit.
←Rate | 07-19-2013 13:50 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering how many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
←Rate | 01-25-2010 16:37 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently it's green week. In an effort to contribute, I just created a save electricity sign: "Don't you hate it when someone turns you on, and then just leaves?"
←Rate | 11-16-2010 11:03 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is spelled, "you're" an idiot....idiot.
←Rate | 03-21-2013 15:40 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon The day Bruce Jenner finally snaps and locks his entire family in his Escalade and pushes it into his swimming pool just got one stupid baby name closer.
←Rate | 06-21-2013 09:46 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was two faced, do you think I'd be wearing this one?
←Rate | 01-07-2011 14:31 by Michael Comments (1)  


   messageicon Dear Victoria's Secret engineers. Bubble wrap panties..... make it happen.
←Rate | 12-28-2012 16:53 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to hang out at Wal-Mart for a bit so I can feel better about myself.
←Rate | 09-30-2010 13:43 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walked into the bank today and asked the teller if she could check my balance… She leaned over and pushed me.
←Rate | 10-18-2010 16:26 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's March 4th. I like today's date because it's like I'm telling people what to do.
←Rate | 03-04-2011 09:33 by Michael Comments (1)  


   messageicon Why are all the women in my office walking funny today?
←Rate | 02-15-2013 07:45 by Michael Comments (1)  


   messageicon How does every ethnic joke start? By looking over your shoulder.
←Rate | 11-01-2010 11:33 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey mylife, I can promise you, 28 people are NOT searching for me! Quit lying!
←Rate | 10-07-2010 13:13 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know I'm supposed to be outraged about this whole NSA phone tapping scandal, but I've got to admit, its a little refreshing that after a decade of marriage, someone is finally listening to me.
←Rate | 06-07-2013 11:09 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon doesn't mind taking a leap of faith, he just needs a good run up!
←Rate | 09-08-2009 00:57 by Michael | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon The next time someone annoys you so much you just wanna slap them… Do it and say, “Mosquito” and quickly walk away.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 11:01 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than you actually are.
←Rate | 11-09-2010 08:09 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since when does 3-6 inches of snow draw the need for a winter storm warning? Back when I was a kid, we just called that winter.
←Rate | 12-03-2010 10:33 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Greatest txt msg of the day: Wow, I felt guilty this morning when I woke up after the dream I had about you!
←Rate | 10-29-2010 10:14 by Michael Comments (1)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left