John Y Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I am not usually one to brag, but I was able to get my daily recommended calorie intake for weight loss down in just one sitting!
←Rate | 04-25-2017 15:38 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sure they'll recap the first round of this season of "Riots" on your local news channel in case you missed its premier.
←Rate | 04-27-2015 22:28 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, they go in a bucket, they cost 60 bucks so you'd better...
←Rate | 02-14-2016 15:17 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm allergic to gluten free diets.
←Rate | 12-23-2014 15:46 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember a time when I was overly optimistic about the great things that were to come in the new year. Well...here's to not stepping in dog siht while checking the mail in 2016.
←Rate | 12-31-2015 15:02 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's a little pro tip for ya, it doesn't have to be your birthday to buy a birthday cake. They'll just sell it to you no questions asked.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 18:37 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon With summer in full swing and Father's Day just 41 days away, CVS in Baltimore has all of your sunscreen and Father's Day card needs covered.
←Rate | 05-11-2015 17:45 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pants up don't loot!!!
←Rate | 05-03-2015 23:35 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're STUPID enough to vote for someone because of a celebrity endorsement plese delete yourself from my friends list...Thank you.
←Rate | 03-20-2012 19:04 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do these boxers, this bag of chips, and couch make me look single?
←Rate | 06-20-2015 21:05 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Treating others the way you what them to treat you is a great way to live your life. It may also quite possibly be sexual harassment...
←Rate | 05-19-2015 09:36 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel like everybody judges me when I say Worcestershire sauce...
←Rate | 04-10-2017 16:59 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ahh Brunch, the Sunday activity that makes drinking before noon socially acceptable.
←Rate | 04-19-2015 13:16 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Reason #258 I hate people... Kim Kardashian’s mobile game is making $29,166 per hour. That's right, she's making more than a lot of Americans are per second. Just for being some kind of high class pass around slut for rappers! Come and get it Kanye...
←Rate | 08-07-2014 15:16 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Children's berry flavored delsym on the rocks... For when you're sick but still want a drink to sip on.
←Rate | 01-26-2017 19:00 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know that the Pot used to call the Kettle something much worse right?
←Rate | 04-07-2015 15:18 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon We're taught from a young age that we need to work hard to achieve success, riches, or fame in life. Then we grow up to see sh****gs like Snooki, the Situation and the Kardashians. You know... People who have never done anything!
←Rate | 10-14-2014 15:02 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon The woman in front of me at Kroger had a box of wine, a flower arrangement, some cat treats and two packages of batteries. Is it wrong for me to assume that she is single and treating herself to a day in?
←Rate | 02-14-2016 13:46 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now Dammit! The sign says "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service." It said nothing of pants! It's so hot...
←Rate | 08-11-2016 12:36 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've heard enough of this Black Friday crap. The sooner we realize that all Fridays matter the better off we'll be as a society.
←Rate | 11-27-2015 13:28 by John Y Comments (0)  



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