Corn Squeezins Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I can't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.
←Rate | 07-31-2017 14:53 by Corn Squeezins Comments (1)  


   messageicon Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence; because if she doesn’t have that, then she’s mine.
←Rate | 08-01-2017 12:47 by Corn Squeezins Comments (0)  


   messageicon The lower the number of dates you've had is directly proportionate to the greater the chances of your winning on Jeopardy.
←Rate | 08-01-2017 19:38 by Corn Squeezins Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the difference between your wife and your job? After 5 years your job still sucks.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 18:55 by Corn Squeezins Comments (0)  


   messageicon Halloween is just a made up holiday, created by the razor blade industry.
←Rate | 08-02-2017 12:21 by Corn Squeezins Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 300 lb. sister got a belly ring. I peeked at the receipt, it was from U-Haul. She got a hitch.
←Rate | 10-01-2011 11:55 by Corn Squeezins Comments (0)  


   messageicon An Italian chick Linda Orsini, had a lesbi@n girlfriend named Jeannie. To her partner she said, "let's have pasta in bed", and they both enjoyed cunnilinguini.
←Rate | 10-23-2011 14:14 by Corn Squeezins Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do you call the useless piece of skin around a vag*na? A woman.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 12:11 by Corn Squeezins | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wasn't feeling right so I went to the doctor. He told me the problem was I was half black. I said, "What should I do?" He told me to eat two watermelons and call him in the morning."
←Rate | 10-19-2011 17:35 by Corn Squeezins Comments (0)  


   messageicon Brass Monkey - That funky Monkey Brass Monkey - Junkie That funky Monkey. That's funny, right? No? Dang.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 15:39 by Corn Squeezins Comments (0)  


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