@BoyGotJokes Funny Status Messages

   Saw a Chinese baby and a black kid wave at each other today. Gives me hope for the future. Or another Rush Hour movie

   Dear infommercials.. Clearly its not a $100 value if you're selling it for 10 bucks

   Duct tape and bungee cords on someone's car says "watch out, I definitely don't have any insurance"

   Recent studies have shown that smoking marijuana destroys the memory.. well if thats true, then what does smoking marijuana do?

   A Jealous Woman Does Better Research Than A FBI Agent

   No matter what mistakes I make in my life at least I won't be as pathetic as the guy who got eaten by a t-rex on the toilet in Jurassic Park

   If I go on a cruise, I'm sleeping in the lifeboat area

   If you judge a book by it's cover, you are likely going to miss out on a great story!

   FB should just stop asking me whats on my mind and ask "What kinda nonsense do you want to tell everyone this time"

   Single as a dollar and I'm not looking for change

   I am super tired... well its regular tired except I have a cape... okay just a blanket and one hell of an imagination

   Women that have strong handshakes kind of freak me out

   I smashed my finger today, "just glad it wasn't my "Have a nice day" finger

   Beyond tired right now.. everytime I blink I'm pretending its a mini nap

   I know my dream woman is out there.. and that her boring friend is the one into me..

   Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.

   dear santa, I found the shoes I want, text me for my size

   I coulda swore I just heard my Rice Krispies say "The f#kk dude? It's dinner time"

   I like to pretend that the girls who do the "duck face" in pics can beatbox real good

   They should invent a game for people with bad breath.. I would call it "Taste the Colgate!"