love Funny Status Messages

   I love to shop, but I’ll never buy your bull.

   I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in face, but with words.

   I could really go for a pinata right about now. I’d love to beat the crap out of something and then have some candy.

   Keep your relationship fresh by writing each other love notes like, “I considered murdering you whilst ye slumbered in yon bedchambers.”

   Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home, they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

   In France you don’t say “I miss you.” You say, “Tu me manques,” which means “you are missing from me.” I love that.

   64 year old man: Making love to a younger woman may be fatal…. But if she dies, she dies.

   Love ~ Giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting them not to.

   Facebook reaction emoji’s look a lot like a relationship from start to finish. Like, Love, Ha-Ha, Wow, Crying, Angry.

   Roses are lame, love is fake, weddings are basically funerals with cake.

   Date a cat owner. They love something that doesn’t even like them back.

   There is sex without love, and there is love without sex. Then there is you, without both.

   Love when the washing machine gets to the angry part, let it out girl.

   I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

   I love when people ask, “How’s a person like you single?” I’m mentally ill.

   Tell your friends you love them. Tell them a lot. Make it weird.

   All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

   The Poet: Why do you write? he asked. So, I can take my love for you and give it to the world, I reply. Because you won’t take it from me.

   Ladies, love your man like them bi!ches in your head do.

   Love means having to say you’re sorry every fifteen minutes.