@UncleBSolomon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When I'm in a good mood I act like I'm I'm in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
←Rate | 06-24-2017 09:42 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (2)  


   messageicon Why does Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell insurance. Is there something dirty about insurance we should know about?
←Rate | 03-13-2017 19:26 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I came walking in from the kitchen, and asked my niece for the phonebook. She laughed and called me an antique, Then proceded to gave me her phone.Long story short, the spider's dead, and she's in the living room crying.
←Rate | 07-20-2017 19:41 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can't stuff your face when you're sleeping.
←Rate | 04-28-2017 19:30 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life Lesson: Never ever, ever do anything you wouldn't want to explain to a nurse in a busy ER.🐿️
←Rate | 02-14-2017 15:37 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It is just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
←Rate | 11-26-2016 09:30 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anxiety was good for weight loss, I'd be back to my birth weight.
←Rate | 03-29-2017 20:56 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching Friday the 13th. A load of awful make-up, on brain-dead zombies. Hang on. Sorry, wrong channel that was "The View".
←Rate | 01-13-2017 11:09 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why I hate House Hunters. Amy is a housewife works on her art all day, her husband Abe manages a Taco Bell. Abe: Our budget is $4 million
←Rate | 02-18-2017 11:24 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saved $983.54 on Black Friday. I stayed home watched TV and didn't shop.
←Rate | 11-25-2016 17:25 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I the only one who would like to see Punxsutawney Phil bite off the finger of the person that wakes him up every Groundhog Day.🎩
←Rate | 02-04-2017 21:05 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I try to live an #adventurous life but its hard to do it with $17 disposable #income a week.
←Rate | 11-26-2016 23:57 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor finally put up his #Christmas lights today. I bet he's mad that I beat him to it. I put mine up three years ago.
←Rate | 11-21-2016 10:19 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I watched Bugs, Popeye, and the Roadrunner every day when growing up. This nation is the beacon for the world. Kids today watch cartoons with 0 violence and need safe zone. I fear the future.
←Rate | 11-16-2016 09:10 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the #bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves.
←Rate | 11-21-2016 22:13 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I just saw the Mucinex family walking out of Wal-Mart.
←Rate | 03-31-2017 21:16 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon A person without a sense of humor is like a car without shocks, they get jolted by every rock or pebble in the road.
←Rate | 11-14-2016 13:18 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Art imitates life. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Flattery will get you nowhere. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ART DEGREE BUTTERCUP.
←Rate | 01-07-2017 14:25 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Separation anxiety is common among toddlers, dogs, and would-be divorcees finding out how much divorcing costs.
←Rate | 04-09-2017 23:52 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new commandment. Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
←Rate | 11-08-2017 21:26 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  



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