mullerman Funny Status Messages

   that whenever a bird craps on my windshield, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch just to let them know what I am capable of.

   thinks it's better to be "over the hill" then under it.

   Life is like a roller coaster, and I'm about to throw up.

   If you fall, I'll be there - The Floor

   been married for 20 years and has sex almost every day....almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday.....

   asks..what's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.

   asks...the difference between my boss and the pope? The pope only expects me to kiss his ring

   If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

   Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

   decided to go on a Light Diet....whenever there's light...I eat.