mullerman Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon that whenever a bird craps on my windshield, I eat a plate of scrambled eggs on my front porch just to let them know what I am capable of.
←Rate | 04-30-2012 15:32 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks it's better to be "over the hill" then under it.
←Rate | 04-14-2012 16:37 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a roller coaster, and I'm about to throw up.
←Rate | 02-07-2012 21:42 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you fall, I'll be there - The Floor
←Rate | 01-29-2012 17:58 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon been married for 20 years and has sex almost every day....almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday.....
←Rate | 01-04-2012 09:46 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon asks..what's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
←Rate | 09-05-2011 15:58 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon asks...the difference between my boss and the pope? The pope only expects me to kiss his ring
←Rate | 06-09-2011 23:42 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.
←Rate | 05-08-2011 00:00 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 18:48 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon decided to go on a Light Diet....whenever there's light...I eat.
←Rate | 03-10-2011 13:25 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon the difference between an in-law and an out-law is that outlaws are wanted....
←Rate | 02-20-2011 16:59 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart.
←Rate | 02-18-2011 08:44 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you want to feel skinny....hang out with a group of fat people!
←Rate | 12-10-2010 22:34 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon has a dog with no legs named Cigarette. Everyday I put on his leash and take him out for a drag.
←Rate | 10-23-2010 18:22 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon really wonders why if Jimmy cracked corn and nobody cared....why did they write a song about him?
←Rate | 07-28-2010 21:45 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon annoyed....the FOLD cycle on the clothes dryer isn't working!
←Rate | 07-07-2010 08:29 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon after all those years working at the Nuclear Power Plant, Uncle Ron was the hands-down favorite to win the 3-legged race.
←Rate | 06-29-2010 21:22 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon learned to never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:55 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Preserve nature....pickle a squirrel.
←Rate | 06-18-2010 20:37 by mullerman Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that hard work never killed anybody, but wht take the chance?
←Rate | 06-15-2010 15:14 by mullerman Comments (0)  



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