jrbirk Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm ready to get lost on vacation somewhere Sean Penn wont even be able to find me.
←Rate | 01-11-2016 13:00 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, come on.. Who among us hasn't checked African American on an application?
←Rate | 06-16-2015 21:33 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon President Obama - The worlds most powerful insurance salesman.. How embarrassing.
←Rate | 03-20-2014 12:23 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mr President, if you like your apology, you can keep your apology.
←Rate | 11-08-2013 18:13 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last week the people who wanted to delay Obamacare were called legislative arsonists and terrorists who were holding the country hostage. This week they’re called Democrats
←Rate | 10-24-2013 19:57 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Starbucks is now offering something called the duffin. If you havent heard, it's a combination of a donut and a muffin. Who says America has lost its exceptionalism?
←Rate | 10-10-2013 13:07 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have heard of videos going viral, but now it hurts when I pee..
←Rate | 08-26-2013 11:07 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon If this country really cared about itself everyone would quit looking for work so we could get the unemployment rate down to 0%!
←Rate | 08-02-2013 19:17 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama was just on the air and clearly read from his teleprompter that he will now put his full concentration into the issue of JOBS! (for the 19th time).
←Rate | 07-24-2013 14:16 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Earth Day. I'm doing my part by vacuuming all of the dirt out of my car and putting it back on the ground where it belongs.
←Rate | 04-22-2013 11:47 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Easter reminds me of how boring my death will probably be.
←Rate | 03-31-2013 11:50 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're Now Aware That You Can't Say.. "IRISH WRISTWATCH"
←Rate | 03-17-2013 09:49 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon How in the Hell does Hillary Clinton get a concussion when she's been ducking everything??
←Rate | 12-19-2012 17:41 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that healthcare is guaranteed, I'm frying everything I eat.
←Rate | 06-29-2012 14:20 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook stock continues to lose value, in fact it's so bad, hundreds of farmville farms are going into foreclosure.
←Rate | 05-29-2012 13:08 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nearly 2 million DEAD Americans are still registered to vote... Therefore, President Obama might LITERALLY be reelected over our DEAD bodies!
←Rate | 05-11-2012 12:31 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ron Artest - Metta World Peace, that's his name now, only gets a 7 game suspension for cheap shot in the NBA. Do we live in a society that rewards bad behavior? What's next, an endorsement for elbow macaroni?
←Rate | 04-25-2012 18:52 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon President Obama recently released his tax returns. It turns out he made $900,000 less in 2011 then he did in 2010. You know what that means? Even Obama is doing worse under President Obama.
←Rate | 04-16-2012 21:51 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is everyone pinching me today?
←Rate | 03-17-2012 21:24 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


   messageicon Decided to clean the kitchen this morning, started with the last of the rum cake. Cleaned that right up. Decided that was enough cleaning for today..
←Rate | 03-06-2012 11:46 by jrbirk Comments (0)  


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