eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just did the Ancestry.com DNA swab....Now the cops want to talk with me!! #StalkersLife
←Rate | 03-16-2016 00:11 by Eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did the turtle cross the road? ...To get to the shell station!
←Rate | 04-18-2014 10:45 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So when I pump gas, has my truck pumped all the other vehicles that this nozzle has pumped?
←Rate | 04-12-2014 00:23 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Man I love watching women's curling in the Olympics. It's the only time I get to drink beer while cheering on women sweeping and no one slaps me.
←Rate | 02-17-2014 22:21 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Setting here wrapping presents with one hand. If someone finds a band aid in theirs Don't touch it, I'm still waiting on them test results.
←Rate | 12-22-2013 18:55 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
←Rate | 09-27-2013 08:13 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paula Deen just got chopped!
←Rate | 06-21-2013 18:46 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There were a lot of people who thought he was going to end up like his brother. I wasn't one of them. Really, what are the chances he has another brother who runs over him in a car.
←Rate | 04-19-2013 22:52 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My son's Parrot just tweeted about his current living conditions!
←Rate | 03-30-2013 23:52 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When dropping off prescriptions for two people with the same name...make sure the dates of birth are correct. Apparently my 12 year old is on Blood Presure meds now...
←Rate | 03-28-2013 21:29 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just bought formula. Babies would be cheaper if they ran on gas!
←Rate | 03-26-2013 21:09 by eaglet1122 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Just because I pet your dog doesn't mean I want to talk to you, get over yourself smoking hot girl!
←Rate | 03-02-2013 23:18 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amazing how you can be first and everything and then last and nothing.....all with a blink of an eye..I hate video games!!
←Rate | 03-02-2013 23:16 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does Roseetta Stone work? I want to learn to speak Mexican!
←Rate | 08-22-2012 01:59 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The women's US gymnastics team is awesome! I have never seen more beautiful floor exercises, high bars or labia majora in my life.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 22:37 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wonder what events al-Qaeda will be participating in.
←Rate | 07-27-2012 22:10 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When are these Olympic nuts gonna get it? Hot chicks, in bikinis, jumping on trampolines. The perfect opening ceremony. It can be applied to half time shows too.
←Rate | 07-27-2012 21:17 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks to all you that could join my FLASH MOB in London. WE DID IT!!!
←Rate | 07-27-2012 20:52 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey someone tell the Sun to stop showing off!!
←Rate | 07-05-2012 19:05 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 50 Shades of Grey..Girls can't wait to read it and Guys can't wait for the movie!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 00:05 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


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