Zinc Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Do jews celebrate labor day or do they gotta be different like usual
←Rate | 08-29-2017 23:42 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon After today there will be two kinds of people in this world: people who saw the eclipse, and people I want to talk to at parties @cbquist
←Rate | 08-21-2017 23:31 by zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is the big deal about Cinco De Mayo. I've been drinking my ass off Everydayo of Mayo.
←Rate | 05-03-2017 18:29 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cinco de Mayo makes me long for a world in which all holidays are conveniently named after the dates on which they fall.
←Rate | 05-03-2017 18:26 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Cinco de Mayo, let's party like Mexican rock stars if they existed.
←Rate | 05-03-2017 18:25 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to celebrate Cinco de Mayo by puking tequila and gorditas on the side of a Taco Bell. i
←Rate | 05-03-2017 18:25 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s May 4 soon, the one day of the year when Star Wars fans celebrate being able to use quite possibly the best pun in the world: “May the Fourth be with you”.
←Rate | 05-01-2017 17:01 by Zinc Comments (2)  


   messageicon Some people say marijuana makes you dumb, but I smoke all the time and my IQ is 420.
←Rate | 04-19-2017 23:15 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed and that is pretty close.
←Rate | 04-18-2017 22:52 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon High people catch other high people.. they catch stuff other people don't
←Rate | 04-18-2017 22:44 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon There have been only two authentic geniuses in the world, Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare. — Tallulah Bankhead
←Rate | 04-04-2017 10:46 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon There’s no such thing as a non-terrifying Easter bunny costume.
←Rate | 04-03-2017 00:13 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon One time in 6th grade me and my friend got to an Easter egg hunt early and switched all the candy in the eggs with mustard and ketchup.
←Rate | 04-03-2017 00:11 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh good YouPorn put up all their Easter themed porn.
←Rate | 04-03-2017 00:11 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Already rolling my eyes in preparation for the 4/20 snap chats I get on Easter.
←Rate | 04-03-2017 00:11 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so broke identity thieves sent a fruit basket with a note. "Sorry about the ID theft. Please tell your creditors to stop calling us."
←Rate | 03-25-2017 01:44 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.
←Rate | 03-17-2017 01:56 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ivm not leaving a will.. My final act will be leaving one more thing my family can fight about.
←Rate | 03-17-2017 01:55 by ZINC Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife and I have different ideas on death. I want to be cremated when I die and she wants to cremate me now.
←Rate | 03-17-2017 01:51 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only real model we have for a trump presidency is the movie "first kid"
←Rate | 11-20-2016 00:23 by Zinc Comments (0)  


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