Y.P Funny Status Messages

   - I just don't like the look of my hands.....That's why I always keep them at arms length.

   Vegetarians - My food sh**ts on your food........

   - I've had so many f**king blind dates recently....I should be eligible to a free dog...

   ‎- My missus was so sick this morning........That I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast....

   - I can't believe we only managed a draw against a sh*t team we should easily have beaten........I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian.....

   - Definition of Keyring---A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your f**king keys at once.....

   - I've just written a song about a Tortilla......Well I guess it's more of a Wrap....

   - I heard my mates's girlfriend say to him..."You'd be fitter if you exercised you lazy f**k".....I could't help myself interrupting and said to her...."You'd be a lot f**kin fitter if you were your sister"....

   - I was just about to nail some shelves to the wall.....Then I thought, screw it....

   - I saw an article in a magazine titled, "10 ways to make your wife come".........I didn't bother reading it though...... I'm too f***ing busy searching for 1 way to make her go......