Walrus Gumboot Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Give me freedom or give me marriage.
←Rate | 05-15-2013 11:33 by Walrus Gumboot Comments (0)  


   messageicon Domestic terrorism is when my cleaning lady whacks me upside the head with a broom.
←Rate | 04-16-2013 11:50 by Walrus Gumboot Comments (0)  


   messageicon "That's it. I'm done. I'm never hanging out at a swimming pool again."~ Marco Polo
←Rate | 03-22-2013 15:48 by Walrus Gumboot Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's get it straight. It's not about the, "Right to bear arms", it's about the, "Right to arm bears."
←Rate | 03-16-2013 13:06 by Walrus Gumboot Comments (0)  


   messageicon There was a homeless guy walking down my street.. I was gonna give him a few bucks but his sign said: "ONE DAY IT MIGHT BE YOU". I put the money back in my pocket just in case he's right.
←Rate | 02-09-2013 15:36 by Walrus Gumboot Comments (0)  


   messageicon First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
←Rate | 02-07-2013 13:09 by Walrus Gumboot Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finished your 40 minutes on the treadmill, 30 on the elliptical, 20 minute cardio? Yeah? Now go read a book, dumbbell.
←Rate | 02-04-2013 10:15 by Walrus Gumboot Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I don't get at least one friend deletion on facebook every day, I feel as if I didn't do my job.
←Rate | 01-18-2013 11:38 by Walrus Gumboot Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come the girls with the sluttiest Facebook pages are the one's who talk the loudest about their Christian values?
←Rate | 01-17-2013 16:23 by Walrus Gumboot Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wish for you is to get genit@l w@rts from Honey Boo's momma. But I mean that in a nice way...
←Rate | 01-07-2013 09:20 by Walrus Gumboot Comments (0)  



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