StonerDudee Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon What are nudes? Someone show me.
←Rate | 01-03-2017 19:29 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
←Rate | 08-16-2015 19:50 by StonerDudee Comments (1)  


   messageicon You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
←Rate | 08-16-2015 19:49 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Police ordered me to get out of my car 'You're staggering' said the officer .'you're not a bad looking f*cker yourself' I replied
←Rate | 08-03-2015 11:34 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Soccer is just like my sex life. Long periods of time with no action followed by pure shock & surprise by all parties involved when I score.
←Rate | 08-01-2015 19:50 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I seriously hate it when a couple starts having an argument in front of you. They could have least waited until I got dressed and left.
←Rate | 07-31-2015 23:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon This lady behind me is reading what I'm writing while I'm waiting on line in the pharmacy. Can't wait till she .....aaaAAHHHHH! THAT'S RIGHT LADY!!!....Look away!
←Rate | 07-11-2015 22:48 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can not be held responsible for what my face does when you talk.
←Rate | 07-09-2015 02:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon On the bright side, selfie sticks are also lightning rods.
←Rate | 06-18-2015 22:47 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men everywhere should appreciate Starbucks attempt to brainwash women into believing that grande means medium.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 19:52 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If she posts 7 new selfies a day, Regardless of how hot she is, Let it go bud. You'll never give the amount of attention required. Science.
←Rate | 06-11-2015 17:40 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Mother's Day to the iPad that's raising your child...
←Rate | 05-10-2015 22:05 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon At what age do you stop shopping at Costco because you won't use the entire pack before you die?
←Rate | 05-08-2015 01:45 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon The older I get the more I realise there are no grown ups and nobody knows what the f*ck they're doing.
←Rate | 05-08-2015 01:44 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never trust a girl who has her own face set as the background of her phone.
←Rate | 05-01-2015 22:22 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're thinking of hanging out with your ex, jerk off first and see how you feel after that.
←Rate | 04-23-2015 10:50 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter which path you choose, there will always be some asshole in front of you trying to make a left.
←Rate | 04-23-2015 10:48 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a huge spider the size of a walnut while I was taking a shower so I pulled off the curtain rod & pole vaulted myself into the hallway.
←Rate | 04-23-2015 10:47 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I feel like a loser for spending so much time on Facebook. Then I remember there are people out there who comment on pornhub videos
←Rate | 04-23-2015 10:46 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon You had me at 0 mutual friends..
←Rate | 03-11-2015 16:37 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


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