Shamus Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon i just hate it when I buy a loaf of bread with an odd number of slices. That last slice always seems to get neglected.
←Rate | 12-18-2011 02:07 by shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always wanted a good job and to drive fancy cars... finally I am a valet.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 01:16 by Shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon if the Cowboys are "America's Team," we might as well just learn to like soccer.
←Rate | 11-08-2010 00:11 by Shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon born at a very young age.
←Rate | 09-13-2010 21:05 by Shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tuned into the Miss Universe Pageant hoping to see Miss Jupiter, but it turns out only Earth entered the competition.
←Rate | 08-24-2010 17:34 by Shamus Comments (1)  


   messageicon Following a successful off-season surgery, Favre appears ready to return for his 20th NFL season.... lobotomies must heal fairly quickly.
←Rate | 08-18-2010 12:40 by Shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon Following a successful off-season surgery, Favre appears ready to return for his 20th NFL season.... lobotomies must heal fairly quickly.
←Rate | 08-18-2010 12:39 by Shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon R.I.P. Mr. Steinbrenner... I never really "hated" your Yankees, just wish you would have bought the Braves!
←Rate | 07-13-2010 11:08 by Shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon Onomatopoeias are one thing, but then there are words that look like what they are... like bed.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 17:36 by Shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breakfast was going well until that creepy new Tiger Woods commercial with his late father's voice came on... now I'm just playing with my oatmeal.
←Rate | 04-08-2010 17:21 by Shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two mancode violations to report this week: caught a guy reading his horoscope out loud to his friends, and caught wind at work that one of my friends rode on the back of another guy's motorcycle. Flagrant.
←Rate | 04-08-2010 03:35 by Shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spell SWIMS upside down... this is going to blow your mind!
←Rate | 04-01-2010 11:40 by Shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you think all the way back to being sperm, we are all winners.
←Rate | 04-01-2010 11:39 by Shamus Comments (2)  


   messageicon Four out of five voices in my head are saying this is gonna' be a great day.
←Rate | 03-31-2010 12:17 by Shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went to see Hot Tub Time Machine... turned out to be raunchy, simple-minded, sophomoric, crude, brainless, poorly executed slapstick. Yep, it was right in my wheelhouse.
←Rate | 03-31-2010 12:16 by Shamus Comments (0)  


   messageicon Inefficiency: Getting a letter in the mail saying a census is coming next week, then a census form a week later, then a postcard a week later saying a census came a week earlier.
←Rate | 03-31-2010 12:15 by Shamus Comments (0)  


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