Nunthewizr Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When someone posts a picture of their new car and you want to reply, "Congrats on your $600 a month payment!"
←Rate | 10-08-2016 13:33 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if clouds look down on us and say stuff like "That one's shaped like an idiot."
←Rate | 09-25-2014 12:05 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Realized I’ve never seen gloves in someone’s glove compartment, and now nothing makes sense anymore
←Rate | 09-25-2014 12:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before the internet I used to like people.
←Rate | 09-25-2014 11:57 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chinese food to go: $17.95. Gas to go get it $1.50. Getting home and realizing they forgot one of your containers: Riceless.
←Rate | 09-25-2014 11:51 by Nunthewizr Comments (1)  


   messageicon Swimming in the pool counts as a shower, right?!?
←Rate | 07-19-2014 10:24 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die, donate my teeth to the Walmart Cashiers.
←Rate | 07-19-2014 10:23 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can workout and brag about your muscles all you want but it still isn't going to make you any taller.
←Rate | 07-19-2014 10:19 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't get why any woman stays single. You would think they would get married so they can let themselves go.
←Rate | 05-05-2014 20:52 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the Universe could talk, it would sound like a combination of Morgan Freeman and Optimus Prime.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:15 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're the new guy at a Chinese restaurant are you considered the Lo Mein on the totem pole?
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:14 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber goes to jail. Writes "Free JB!" on wall in protest. Learns cellmate is dyslexic.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:12 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't think of them as gingers. Think of them as sweet potato people.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:09 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Size doesn’t matter. It only, took one little comma to destroy this entire sentence.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:06 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Native Americans don't make fun of criminals because it's wrong to mock-a-sin.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:05 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Car driving 40mph on the highway this morning. It's only a 1/4“ of snow plus you have a "Jesus Fish" on your bumper. You'll be just fine.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:03 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies….there is a difference between fake tanning and changing your entire ethnicity during the winter months.
←Rate | 02-26-2014 10:01 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know that one idiot that always flies by you when the roads are crappy? Am I the only one that secretly wishes they would go in the ditch or wreck their car?
←Rate | 02-08-2014 19:11 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'd think the only people on Earth who could teleport would be working for the military instead of State Farm.
←Rate | 02-04-2014 20:00 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


   messageicon My iPhone has 2 million times the storage of the 1969 Apollo 11 spacecraft computer. They went to the moon. I throw birds at pig houses and play scrabble. SCIENCE!
←Rate | 02-04-2014 19:57 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  


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