Michael askins Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The "running man" may no longer be a trendy dance move, but it's a cool way to get out of a boring conversation
←Rate | 10-09-2016 22:18 by Michael Askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your in the grocery store with your new iphone 7 and pay with food stamps don't be surprised when I slap that phone out of your hand.
←Rate | 10-03-2016 17:05 by Michael Askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
←Rate | 09-10-2016 15:53 by Michael Askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon Props to all the women who don't have to dress like a slut to get attention from men, stay classy... The rest of you come with me...
←Rate | 09-08-2016 22:22 by Michael Askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook memories... Just in case you didn't have enough "WTF was I thinking" moments during the day..
←Rate | 09-04-2016 16:21 by Michael Askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon The government shut down? Hmm.. Didn't notice any difference...
←Rate | 10-01-2013 22:44 by Michael Askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spell check is for the week.
←Rate | 04-18-2013 08:08 by Michael askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear girl in Walmart, Yes it is summer but your shirt and shorts are way too small and you look like a half opened can of biscuits. Sincerely, The guy in line behind you clawing out his eyeballs..
←Rate | 04-13-2013 07:04 by Michael askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon A relationship without trust is like a car with no gas. You can stay in it as long as you want, but its not going anywhere..
←Rate | 05-21-2012 07:21 by Michael Askins Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may be reading too much into this, but I'm pretty sure this girl I met is stalking me... I saw her google my name last night through my binoculars.. I nearly fell out of the tree!!
←Rate | 03-24-2012 18:34 by Michael Askins Comments (0)  



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