Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon There’s good sex, then there’s no-hole-left-untouched sex.
←Rate | 02-10-2019 11:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry. My bedroom cameras are for research purposes only.
←Rate | 02-10-2019 10:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People should be tested for emissions. They’re exhausting.
←Rate | 02-10-2019 10:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This girl at the bar is winking at me. Now she's using the other eye. Never mind, she's passing out.
←Rate | 02-10-2019 05:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I smile at dogs more than I smile at people.
←Rate | 02-08-2019 13:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone here with one leg? I have a ton of socks you can have.
←Rate | 02-04-2019 08:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to play this game called nap roulette...It's where I take a nap but don't set an alarm. Will it be a 30 min nap? Will it be a 4 hour nap? Will I wake up tomorrow? Nobody knows. But it's risky. And I like it
←Rate | 02-02-2019 13:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor: “Sir....” Patient: “It's MA'AM. I identify as a female” Doctor: “Okay Ma'am. You have testicular cancer”
←Rate | 01-26-2019 04:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss the days when the worst thing about Trump was just his hair.
←Rate | 01-25-2019 13:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An orgy but it’s just me eating 5 different bags of chips at once.
←Rate | 01-23-2019 00:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there are no snacks, don’t even bother inviting me to your orgy.
←Rate | 01-17-2019 12:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon The worst part about watching movies at the cinemas is not knowing how much time you have left until the end of the movie.
←Rate | 01-07-2019 22:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My New Years resolution is to be more active. Sexually.
←Rate | 01-02-2019 09:40 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Show dominance on an airplane by calling the flight attendants bartenders.
←Rate | 01-02-2019 09:38 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I like being invited to things, it’s the showing up that bothers me.
←Rate | 12-23-2018 15:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon True love means never having to pick just one hole.
←Rate | 12-21-2018 09:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon In honor of Charles Dickens I am also going to be poor this Christmas
←Rate | 12-21-2018 09:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't tell me what type of pill it is. I like to be surprised.
←Rate | 12-19-2018 10:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So what are we being offended by today? Sorry I missed the morning briefing.
←Rate | 12-17-2018 14:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon My dog just attacked the pizza delivery man. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING????
←Rate | 12-16-2018 09:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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