Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon why is everyone working out? is there a war coming that I don't know about?
←Rate | 03-30-2019 12:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the dumbest thing you ever believed as a child? That people above 18 years of age are automatically adults.
←Rate | 03-20-2019 00:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've watched Shrek every night this week and I still cannot find any clues as to how Donkey impregnated the dragon.
←Rate | 03-10-2019 14:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I still remember the time when I was working at a zoo and my boss fired me simply because I left the lion's gate unlocked, I mean who can steal a lion.
←Rate | 03-10-2019 12:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'll install an anti virus on your computer but not on your kids?
←Rate | 03-10-2019 12:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only resort to violence if necessary like if a coworker says "another day in paradise".
←Rate | 03-04-2019 12:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon At my age, I still do dumb stuff, but only slower.
←Rate | 03-01-2019 12:48 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My kids can worship Satan all they want as long as they don’t listen to nickelback
←Rate | 03-01-2019 11:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon DOCTOR: why do you think you need this medication? ME: I saw the commercial and the side effects sounded pretty awesome
←Rate | 02-20-2019 12:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies; If he doesn't want to watch you masturbate he's not that into you....or girls
←Rate | 02-20-2019 12:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What kind of psycho wears pants in their own home?
←Rate | 02-20-2019 12:45 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There’s good sex, then there’s no-hole-left-untouched sex.
←Rate | 02-10-2019 11:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry. My bedroom cameras are for research purposes only.
←Rate | 02-10-2019 10:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People should be tested for emissions. They’re exhausting.
←Rate | 02-10-2019 10:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This girl at the bar is winking at me. Now she's using the other eye. Never mind, she's passing out.
←Rate | 02-10-2019 05:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I smile at dogs more than I smile at people.
←Rate | 02-08-2019 13:36 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone here with one leg? I have a ton of socks you can have.
←Rate | 02-04-2019 08:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to play this game called nap roulette...It's where I take a nap but don't set an alarm. Will it be a 30 min nap? Will it be a 4 hour nap? Will I wake up tomorrow? Nobody knows. But it's risky. And I like it
←Rate | 02-02-2019 13:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor: “Sir....” Patient: “It's MA'AM. I identify as a female” Doctor: “Okay Ma'am. You have testicular cancer”
←Rate | 01-26-2019 04:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss the days when the worst thing about Trump was just his hair.
←Rate | 01-25-2019 13:27 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  



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