Kelevra Funny Status Messages

   Am I the only one who feels that if I had to describe urine's color and possible taste, that I should point to a yellow Vitamin Water?

   Whoever at Comedy Central decided that they should allow The Situation to be a roast should be fired. His set was more painful than getting a three-fingered prostate exam!

   A boomerang is a Frisbee for lonely kids.

   My girlfriend complains that I don't tell her how much I love her. I don't want to upset her.

   Some women talk way too much. Sometimes I wish they can run out of minutes like cell phones. Her - "Let me tell you something else..." You - "Haha, You can only talk on nights and weekends now!"

   "Hey Mary, what is this I hear about you having sex with God for money?" "Oh. Nothing. I was just trying to make a little prophet."

   Try this, the next time your friend is drunk, switch his/her mom's number with their girlfriend/boyfriend's...

   Ctrl+V...Ruining every sense of originality since its invention.

   "You can't see London. You can't see France, until we see your underpants." -TSA

   Go to Google Translating tool. From English to French, translate "Take a Dirty Picture for me." Then Copy and Paste back into the box the French words and Translate from French to English.