JMartin Funny Status Messages

   If video games have taught me anything, it's that you'll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss.

   As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice that when you put the two words, 'The' and 'IRS' together, it spells THEIRS?

   If one more person calls me dramatic, I swear to Christ I'm going to burn the world down.

   When I stay at a man's house that I want to see again I always "accidentally" lose something there, like my phone, my sweater, or my dignity.

   Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one. He's never gonna give you Up.

   Happy New Year everybody! I know its a bit early but I often suffer from premature congratulations.

   I can't believe it's been a whole year since I didn't become a better person!

   My new years resolution for 2013? I will be less laz

   The only resolution I've ever managed to stick with, was when I resolved not to make resolutions I can't stick with.

   Arguing with strangers on the internet is like the Special Olympics. You might win, but you're still retarded! :)