JC Funny Status Messages

   Microsoft Word! I try and move an image 1mm to the left, but all text and images shift, fonts change, four more pages appear...in the distance, sirens.

   Man with Corona virus seeks woman with Lymes disease

   My biggest pet peeve is that people expect me to remember their pet peeves. Please don't forget that!

   Tonight's Jets/Bills football uniforms resemble my Starbucks cup.

   Playboy doesn't show nudes. MTV doesn't play music videos. The Learning Channel makes you dumber. What happened to the world

   Playboy is dropping nudes because they're too easy to find on the internet? I had no idea. I only read the internet for the articles.

   Okay Christmas, you're on the clock...

   Uranus was the first planet discovered with a telescope. I didn't know planets had telescopes...

   Tried to kill a mockingbird but it mocked me and almost killed me instead...

   The Pope excommunicates Italian Mafia: I wonder who the next pope is gonna be...