Heather25 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Confucius Say...Women who wear Wonderbra make mountains out of molehills.
←Rate | 12-27-2010 15:44 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I am going to make my own beer. I'll call it Responsibly, that way competitors will do all my advertising. Please drink Responsibly!
←Rate | 12-27-2010 15:27 by Heather25 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Does not set out to shock or offend anyone, but also does not do anything to prevent it.
←Rate | 12-23-2010 13:51 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your ex says: "You'll never find someone like me" you are supposed to turn around and say: "God I sure hope not!!"
←Rate | 12-23-2010 13:46 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people ask "What were you thinking?" OBVIOUSLY, I thought I was going to get AWAY with it!
←Rate | 12-23-2010 13:38 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thinks given the choice between Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, I would prefer Parkinson's. I would rather spill a little beer rather than forget where I put it.
←Rate | 12-23-2010 13:37 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon who else wakes up in the morning and checks their Facebook like its the morning newspaper??
←Rate | 12-22-2010 15:30 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks that if you see someone healthy parking in a handicapped zone, when they exit their car, you should be able to make an honest person out of them!
←Rate | 12-22-2010 15:13 by Heather25 Comments (3)  


   messageicon So tell me, how DO you keep up with all your lies?
←Rate | 12-10-2010 16:45 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dare you to walk into the cookie factory and say "Hi I'm here to apply for the fudge packer position".
←Rate | 12-10-2010 16:23 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The purpose of fruit flies; to make people look insane, grabbing at the air like they are hallucinating.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 16:18 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if Facebook is hiring because I just put in my 40 hrs this week.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 16:01 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a cop asks you, "Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?" It is never a good idea to respond, "Because my tires look like donuts?"
←Rate | 12-10-2010 15:58 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon just wants to be someones "Dirty little secret!"
←Rate | 12-10-2010 15:53 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you are feeling down because everyone is against you just remember that....Nationwide is on your side.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 15:32 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not feeling myself today....perhaps I should feel somebody else.
←Rate | 12-10-2010 15:19 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There comes a time in life when all you can do is just slap the b*tch!
←Rate | 12-10-2010 15:17 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a commercial where every line at Walmart was staffed with a cashier. It's amazing what fantasy you can create on television!
←Rate | 12-10-2010 15:14 by Heather25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well someone has to be sober.......NOT IT!
←Rate | 12-10-2010 15:06 by Heather25 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I am always confused when people ask me.. "Did you sleep good?" I always wonder if they want me to say.."No, I made a few mistakes"..
←Rate | 12-09-2010 01:07 by Heather25 Comments (1)  


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