GlimmerTriplet Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Got some good financial news today. The kid I've been sponsoring in some third-world country got eaten by a lion.
←Rate | 09-27-2017 17:35 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon The last time Houston was under this much water her first name was Whitney.
←Rate | 08-30-2017 07:31 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I would for sure pick living.
←Rate | 07-29-2017 10:10 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't celebrate Cinco de Mayo. - said no Juan ever.
←Rate | 05-06-2017 06:54 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got in touch with my feminine side this morning. I made myself breakfast.
←Rate | 04-24-2017 06:40 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sure am glad Hillary didn't get elected because we'd still have Obamacare and be at war with Syria.
←Rate | 04-08-2017 05:13 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon My daughter asked me why I carry a gun inside the house. I told her I was scared of the CIA. She laughed. I laughed. Amazon Echo laughed.
←Rate | 03-09-2017 04:35 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (1)  


   messageicon Generic Frosted Flakes are Oooooooookay!
←Rate | 01-30-2017 05:24 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon It just occurred to me that Trump got more fat women out walking in one day than Michelle Obama did in eight years.
←Rate | 01-21-2017 21:33 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only.
←Rate | 01-03-2017 05:54 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope there will never be an assassination attempt on our President Elect. But it would be really funny just to hear the Secret Service yell "Donald, duck!"
←Rate | 12-12-2016 15:43 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would rather sit in front of Pee Wee Herman at a movie theater while out on a date with OJ Simpson after having drinks at Bill Cosby's bar where they use Flint, MI ice cubes after taking an elevator ride with Ray Rice all while Casey Anthony babysits.
←Rate | 11-06-2016 05:30 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


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