Eddy Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon insider trading tip...tomorrow's Energizer & Duracell stocks go down some
←Rate | 02-14-2019 23:40 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon happy vALONEtine's day to the single people
←Rate | 02-14-2019 10:22 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon some days you're the statue, some days you're the pigeon
←Rate | 02-01-2019 11:49 by Eddy Comments (1)  


   messageicon someone from Egypt sent me an e-mail asking me to wire them money. I think it was a pyramid scheme
←Rate | 01-29-2019 19:23 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon am I watching The Weather Channel or Game of Thrones? it looks like winter is coming
←Rate | 01-28-2019 08:04 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still don't know why Microsoft put a talking paper clip in Microsoft Office instead of a talking ink pen they could call your "pen pal"
←Rate | 01-11-2019 14:37 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon my New Year's resolution is to exercise (my right to be lazy)
←Rate | 12-26-2018 19:23 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon asked Alexa "why is my wife such a b!@#$" & Alexa replied "id rather not answer" ...these computers really are smart
←Rate | 12-20-2018 00:08 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I get addicted to eating cold turkey, idk how i'm going to quit
←Rate | 11-23-2018 00:24 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon the dentist says I need a crown. I'm like "I know, right? "
←Rate | 11-09-2018 04:27 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon before you know it, Amazon workers will be making Prime money
←Rate | 10-02-2018 20:18 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon look on the bright side...Bill Cosby is gonna get a lot of Jell-o
←Rate | 09-26-2018 08:38 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't have any Emmys but I Have 2 Grammys ....they're both dead
←Rate | 09-18-2018 07:49 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I already have a "fear" book...my old yearbook
←Rate | 09-12-2018 03:16 by Eddy Comments (1)  


   messageicon when a friend messages you a GIF image for your birthday, is that a birthday GIFt ?
←Rate | 08-27-2018 21:37 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Where do I sign up for the Space Force? I've heard "not if you were the last guy on Earth" so space is still hopeful
←Rate | 08-12-2018 23:31 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon when 1 of my lenses fall out, I like to think of the glasses as half full
←Rate | 08-11-2018 19:46 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon what did the California politician say to the restaurant manager ? this is the last straw
←Rate | 08-01-2018 23:15 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon if prison is "behind bars" , why don't people cal l the warden the "bar tender" ?
←Rate | 07-31-2018 12:20 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon what do you call it when a mom orders combo #5? ...mombo number 5 (now you're singing it)
←Rate | 07-14-2018 22:54 by Eddy Comments (0)  



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