Doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'm too tired to order anything for dinner so I guess I'll starve
←Rate | 07-16-2017 22:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My body is so exhausted but my mindset is wide awake.
←Rate | 05-05-2017 13:35 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my song is "Let It Go" because whenever I mention love, they sing it.
←Rate | 04-13-2017 15:16 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has found love on facebook. Shes from Bangladesh and "wan day will reash amehica."
←Rate | 03-31-2017 13:49 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My gums are throbbing, someone somewhere just spilled their whiskey!
←Rate | 03-13-2017 15:27 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ate all my meals today without using a single utensil
←Rate | 03-13-2017 15:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love Sunday bourbon but sometimes "message failed to send," is your four leaf clover
←Rate | 03-13-2017 15:25 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your boyfriend wears a gold necklace outside of his tshirt both of you will be asked to get out of your car by the police at gunpoint some day
←Rate | 03-02-2017 06:11 by Doc Noland Comments (1)  


   messageicon Roses are red, Violets are blue, What I ate on Fat Tuesday, Gave me Diabetes Type 2.
←Rate | 03-01-2017 08:36 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was never insane except that temporary moment when my heart was exposed.
←Rate | 02-27-2017 12:01 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon i don't want a girlfriend I want an accomplice
←Rate | 12-07-2016 11:59 by Doc Noland Comments (1)  


   messageicon My elf on the shelf is just a credit card bill I move around to pretend I dealt with it.
←Rate | 11-25-2016 14:36 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just apologized to a bug for killing it and I instantly became a Canadian citizen.
←Rate | 10-04-2016 06:33 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Frankly Auto-correct, I am getting tired of your shirt!
←Rate | 10-04-2016 06:30 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
←Rate | 08-25-2016 08:29 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon We didn't have presidential candidates like this back when people could smoke at their desks.
←Rate | 07-07-2016 22:13 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cant, made plans to have insomnia again tonight.
←Rate | 06-15-2016 09:29 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dont get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.
←Rate | 06-15-2016 09:27 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I was cool enough to post pictures of my food on Facebook
←Rate | 06-15-2016 09:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would say "I hope your well", but that would be a lie
←Rate | 06-15-2016 09:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


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